There are many couples in America who are looking to become parents through non-traditional ways. Even though there are huge advancements in the area of infertility treatments, many couples are fed up with the shots, miscarriages, and emotional and physical ups and downs that come with such infertility treatments, rather settling on adoption as the way to become parents.
Some haven't even attempted invasive treatments but have accepted adoption as the way they will create or grow their family. No matter the reason, most adoptive families have to dispel some common myths about domestic adoptions from friends, family and strangers alike. Below are three myths they may have to rebut.
Myth #1: You won't love your adoptive child as much as you would love a natural born child.
This is one of the most hurtful statements adoptive parents can hear throughout the adoption process (and even for years afterwards). The truth is that adoptive families most often wait for years and put lots of money and effort into becoming parents.
The website, American Adoption, a U.S. based adoption agency, described the idea of whether or not adoptive parents can love a child who is not born to them in this way: "Loving a child isn’t about biology; it is about wanting to be a parent. It is about wanting to share a good life and your love with a child. Understanding the journey adoptive couples take to become a Mom and Dad will show you why adoption is so amazing for a child."
Myth #2: There are no infants available for adoption in the U.S.
With the rise in international adoptions from China, Russia, and other foreign countries, many people honestly think there are no infant children who are adoptable domestically.
That is inaccurate. The U.S. Council on Adoptions estimated that there are 20,000 adoptions of children born in the United States each year, which is more than the 19,000 international adoptions that occur.
Though these numbers are considerably lower than they were 40 years ago, down from 89,000 non-relative adoptions of children born in the United States in 1970, they are still quite substantial. Parents thinking about adoption should know that it is possible to adopt an infant from their own country if that's their choice.
Myth #3: Adoption is too expensive for most people.
The idea that average families cannot afford the adoption process is simply untrue. Like infertility treatments and pregnancy costs, there is a fee for the services provided to perform the adoption. But, also like infertility treatments and pregnancy costs, there may be assistance available through the mother or father's employer or non-profits.
According to babycenter.com, adoption fees can range from $4,000 to $10,000, however many domestic agencies have sliding scale fees based on the couple's income.
The adoption fees go toward social work counseling and legal representation and do not equate to "buying" a baby. The cost to adopt is often comparable to the cost of prenatal care and a hospital birth for couples who birth a child.
The bottom line is that the myths of adoption are just that -- myths -- and should be debunked at every turn. Couples who wish to create or grow their families through adoption, for whatever reason, should know it is a viable option for most people. A little research and due diligence can go a long way to help parents-to-be quell the fears they may have.
Sources:
Adoptivefamlies.com. Web. 6 February, 2012. "Strangers and Kin: The American Way of Adoption".
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=523
Babycenter.com. Web. 6 February, 2012. "The truth about domestic adoption".
http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-truth-about-domestic-adoption_1374892.bc?scid=mbtw_post4y_10m_babycom:924&pe=IHwyMDEyMDIwMQ..
Americanadoptions.com. Web. 6 February, 2012. "Is an adopted child loved as much as a biological child?".
http://www.americanadoptions.com/pregnant/is_an_adopted_child_loved_as_much_as_a_biological_child
Reviewed February 16, 2012
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jessica Obert