While many stereotypes portray nubile young women as the lusty, untamed wild things of the forest, it has actually been shown that older women, or those in their early thirties and all the way through their forties, are the sexiest of them all. Of course all women are not alike.
No two women will experience the same pattern of libido, sexual arousal or lust. But more and more there is scientific evidence that reinforces the idea that the cougar phenomenon is based on something real, something creatively and vibrantly sexual.
One theory is that the primitive evolutionary part of ourselves realizes that time is running out, we are edging every closer to menopause and a lack of fertility. Therefore, as a matter of biological “hurry before it’s too late” women undergo an extreme openness to and desire for sex. Apparently, women in their thirties and forties are more sexually desirous, fantasize more and have richer fantasies than younger women.
Of course another theory (largely mine) hinges on the fact that for a lot of women sexual desire is linked to confidence and experience. Women with more sexual experience and more self-confidence (often, but not always, older women) are bound to feel freer and more experimental in the bedroom.
Sexuality and a high sex drive can also be related to your partner. Of course if you are married or attached to someone who is creative and explorative in the bedroom, who appreciates your body, your style, who laughs at your jokes and wants you, genuinely and often, your libido is bound to increase.
Certainly the opposite will happen if you are with someone who cares little for your feelings or your attractiveness. Someone who is verbally abusive will make you feel you don’t want sex or will have the opposite effect -- you may turn on full steam for someone other than your significant other with whom you imagine you can feel beautiful and desirable again.
Even just feeling unseen, unnoticed or of little importance will shut a woman down. Women need their egos stroked and their fires stoked just as men do. They need to be told that they are beautiful, that their eyes shine, that their partner wants them.
High sex drive in women can be developed although many women naturally also experience a higher sex drive during certain times in their menstrual cycle. While this will vary from woman to woman, many feel the most desirous prior to the onset of their period or even during their periods.
In any case, your sex drive is your own. Whether you’d like more of it or less of it, please honor it and remember that while it may be your biological reproductive brain and/or your hormones, feeling sexy and great about your life and body doesn’t hurt one bit.
Sources:
The Science of Cougar Sex: Why Older Women Lust
By John Cloud Friday, July 9, 2010
Time Magazine Science
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2007422,00.html
Sexual Desire and Your Hormones
By Christine Webber
UK Diet Club
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/womenshealth/features/sexualdesire.htm
Aimee Boyle is a regular contributor to EmpowHER
Edited by Jody Smith