April 22 is a big day for us every year. We met on April 22. We were married on April 22.
And my wife Chris was diagnosed with breast cancer on April 22. That’s why my newsletter, Caring and Coping, http://www.CaringAndCoping.com/ comes out on the 22nd of every month.
Interestingly enough, all three events happened at the same time of day as well, at 8 p.m.
We married on the same date that we met because I thought it would be romantic. We even timed it so that our wedding ceremony started at the same time that we met.
And, just for good measure, I arranged to have the ceremony on the exact spot where we met, which was on a stairway in a disco.
(Uh-oh, did I just date myself by mentioning “disco?”)
We had to make special arrangements in order to pull it off, and they opened for business almost immediately after we were finished. It was very meaningful to us, and to our guests as well.
On April 10, 19 years later, Chris felt a lump in her breast. She went to the doctor the very next day, had a biopsy on April 19, and on April 22 we got a call from the doctor to come in at 7:45 p.m.
By the time we got into the exam room and the doctor showed up, it was about 7:59 p.m.
There was some small talk, then he just blurted out, “You have cancer.” It was 8 p.m.
What are the odds?
This year, however, April 22 is an even bigger day than it usually is because April 22, 2012, marks the 10-year anniversary of Chris’s diagnosis!
After her lumpectomy her surgeon told us that she had only a 60 percent chance of living for five years. Needless to say, that was shocking news at the time. We sure are glad he was wrong.
Consider this: 5-year statistics are not very accurate because they are based on the results of 5-year-old medicine. With all of the advancements in diagnosis, treatment, drugs, etc., five years is practically ancient history.
Today, Chris’s oncologist says that she is in uncharted territory. They have no numbers for someone who has had 3 recurrences including brain metastasis and is still relatively healthy.
These 10 years have been quite a ride -- over 320 medical appointments, more than 33,000 miles of driving, and a lot of money over and above our insurance. Plus two rounds of chemotherapy, three six-week regimens of radiation, and six surgeries too.
When she was first diagnosed with brain metastasis one of the doctors told her to “get her affairs in order.” That was eight years ago, and it is still something that we like to quote these days so we can gloat over how wrong she was.
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Besides advances in medical science and a helping of good luck, what made the difference for Chris?
If I had to boil it down to two things, it would be these -- a good attitude and lots and lots of laughter.
Laughter? How do we laugh in the midst of such a difficult journey?
That’s the challenge, and it is so very important that it cannot be overemphasized. Find ways to laugh and things to laugh about.
Work at it. Make it happen, for it truly will make a difference, not only in the short term but in the long term as well.
Take a moment to think about our story and remember that it is possible to beat the odds, in cancer or in anything else in your life.
Go for it. What have you got to lose?
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Edited by Jessica Obert