It’s not unusual to have questions about relationships, whether you’re in one, having trouble with one or looking for one.
Some questions are about trying to find a relationship.
Some people ask, where do I begin? The University of Buffalo answered that relationships begin with you, so start with yourself!
LifeScript.com added that in order to have the relationship you want, you must first be the person you want to be. Only then can you attract someone who is capable of having a healthy relationship.
Some questions relate to being in a healthy relationship.
LifeScript.com said that the start of a new relationship can be thrilling, leading some to overlook the important questions which, if answered honestly, can prevent problems of incompatibility and misunderstanding in the future.
Some of those questions about relationships include, how do I "hang on to myself" in a relationship?" UB answered, it’s hard to experience fulfillment in a relationship that is not equal and reciprocal.
The best way to avoid "giving yourself up" is to develop assertiveness skills. Learn to express your feelings, beliefs, opinions, and needs openly and honestly.
Do I share common interests and stimulating conversation with this person? LifeScript.com replied that simply being together is interesting enough in the beginning, and asking more serious relationship questions can seem trivial.
But after the novelty wears off, where does that leave you?
Do I respect this person and value her/his opinions and ideas? LifeScript.com answered that you should take a moment to observe how her/his mind works.
You don’t have to agree with every opinion, but do you honestly respect the way he/she arrives at his conclusions about various issues? Is it mutual?
Do we have compatible life goals? LifeScript.com responded that it’s important to remember what you want in life. There’s no use dating someone who doesn’t want children when you want at least three.
Some questions deal with trouble in a relationship.
Such as, my partner and I seem to be coming from different worlds. What can we do about it? UB answered that it is normal for people to have differing needs in a few areas, such as wanting time together versus needing alone time.
Differing needs don't mean your relationship is coming apart, but it’s important to communicate about them to avoid misunderstandings.
Am I in this simply for the sake of wanting to be in a relationship? Liveboldandbloom.com said that some relationships begin for the wrong reason. They are based on need, not love.
We come together because we fulfill each other’s needs at some level. However, when need becomes the primary focus, it’s not healthy. Question if this is really what you want.
Sources:
"Common Questions About Relationships, and Some Answers. Counseling Services Website - University at Buffalo." Welcome Page, Counseling Services Website - University at Buffalo. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 June 2012.
http://ub-counseling.buffalo.edu/questions.shtml
Davenport, Barrie. "Want An Amazing, Intimate Relationship? Ask These Questions | Bloom." Live Bold & Bloom. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 June 2012.
http://liveboldandbloom.com/08/relationships/want-an-amazing-intimate-relationship-ask-these-questions
"Frequently Asked Questions About Relationships." Relationship Counseling : Marriage Counseling : Awakening - Dr Dina. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 June 2012.
http://www.drdinaevan.com/faqar.htm
Pitts, Liz. " 10 Relationship Questions for New Couples | Lifescript.com." Women's Health Issues | Women's Health Questions & Answers | Women's Health Articles | Lifescript.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 June 2012.
http://www.lifescript.com/life/relationships/love-101/10_relationship_questions_for_new_couples.aspx
Reviewed June 21, 2012
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith