Gift buying and gift giving have always been a central part of the holiday season but they don't have to be if you don't want them to.
There are a number of reasons some folks decide not to exchange presents, or choose to cut back on the whole scene.
Tired of the hassle and the expense? Got a house overflowing with more toys than your kids will ever play with? Maybe you'd like to move away from the materialism that can come with the season.
It's okay to spend less money on gifts.
One possible alternative would be to draw names rather than buying for everyone in the family. Making dinner the focal point rather than presents is another shift that can allow for a more relaxed, enjoyable holiday experience.
Homemade gifts can show love as well as or better than something bought from a store. A sweater that took months to knit or a quilt that you've worked on all year has love in every stitch. (Please note, if you're not very good at knitting or quilting, this may not be your best choice.)
Maybe you are thinking about those in need, especially at this time of year.
There are plenty of good charities that are at work during the holiday season, collecting new or good-as-new toys, winter coats, hats and mitts for children. Some have drop-off spots, others offer a pickup service.
Food banks and soup kitchens are looking for donations and volunteers to help spread the love. Donate food, money, or your time, or all of the above.
Or maybe you're in need yourself.
Some people are new to living on a tiny budget, having been laid off or downsized to part-time work. It can be tough to try to keep up with what you used to do in terms of buying gifts, and splashing out on holiday goodies, decorations and activities.
Cut yourself some slack, and remember that whether the limitations are short or long term, the most important thing you bring to the Christmas table is you, not what you can buy.
For others, trying to make ends meet is an ongoing struggle, made worse this time of year because of heating costs, and the pressures of trying to provide Christmas for their children.
If this is your situation, consider going to the charities and organizations who want to give. They are looking for you, and they want to help.
I was in this position myself at one time and hated it. But when it dawned on me that my showing up was what they wanted, that they were looking for people to give to, I decided to cooperate.
Foodbanks, organizations that put together Christmas food baskets, and provide toys for the children ... I went to them all, and was warmed and heartened by the kindness and encouragement we found there, along with the food and gifts.
Chronic illness and poverty too often go together, making the holiday season one of the hardest seasons of all for them.
If you know someone who is ill and could use some Christmas cheer, bring it to them. A short visit is sometimes all the chronically ill are up for, but the investment of your time can make a big difference in how someone who is sick and alone may feel.
Think about offering help in the form of rides, housecleaning, dog walking, or meal preparation. Make a phone call, send a card or a gift.
If they are well enough, pick them up and bring them to your house for dinner or dessert. Be sure to have a quiet spot for them to rest if needed, and keep the noise and flashing Christmas tree lights down.
And if you are chronically ill, I hope you have people in your life who will make their presence, and maybe their presents, felt during the holiday season.
If people ask what they can do for you, tell them. And if they offer help or want to be involved in your life, let them.
May we all spend a gentler, more relaxed and contented holiday season.
Visit Jody's website and blog at http://www.ncubator.ca and http://ncubator.ca/blogger