"Sex is as essential as eating or breathing," Jodi Dahlgren, a therapist at Calgary's Hersh Centre for Sexual Wellness, told More Magazine. It can be one of the biggest issues in a marriage, said WCCO-TV.
How much sex is enough to keep everyone happy?
YourTango.com turned to the Kinsey Institute, and found that 13 percent of married couples have sex a few times per year, 45 percent a few times per month, 34 percent two to three times per week, and 7 percent have it four or more times per week.
That said, Health.com wrote there’s no magic number of times per month or week that a couple “should” have sex. For a relationship to stay healthy for the long haul, both partners need to know each other’s sexual needs and put in the effort to meet those needs.
The University of Chicago’s General Social Survey (GSS) found 15 percent of all marriages are essentially sex-less, with no sex over the past six months to a year, said WCCO-TV.
Eli Coleman, Ph.D., MED, Director of the Human Sexuality program at the University of Minnesota told WCCO-TV that research indicates with married couples there’s a drop-off after the first child. And another drop-off after the second child — and some couples never recover.
It's natural as our lives get busier for the frequency of sex to decrease, said More Magazine. But it's important for partners to be honest about how much sex would really keep each satisfied.
"There is no frequency per se that is wrong," Dr. Alina Wydra, registered psychologist, told More Magazine. "The problem is when partners' desires and needs are discrepant."
Carol Bruess, director of the Marriage and Family program at the University of St. Thomas reiterated to WCCO-TV that the number doesn’t matter, “as long as both partners are satisfied with the amount/frequency; the couple explicitly talks about it, they continue to talk about changing needs/aging/desires over time; and they seek outside assistance if they struggle with this important part of their relationship.”
According to YourTango.com, if both partners are happy, it’s enough. But if not, Health.com advised, have a frank talk about how much sex each of you really wants in order to remain happy in your relationship.
Be honest and open. And commit to making sex a priority at least a few times a month, even if that means you have to schedule it.
More Magazine cautioned to not wait until the problem is tearing apart your relationship before trying to solve it. Dr. Wydra and Dahlgren both recommend a sex or marriage therapist to help work through any issues.
Sources:
"Good Question: How Much Sex Is Enough? CBS Minnesota." CBS Minnesota. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Dec. 2012.
http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2011/11/09/good-question-how-much-sex-is-enough
"How Much Sex Is Enough in a Relationship: Our Sexpert Weighs In - Sex Relationships - Health.com." Health.com: Fitness, Nutrition, Tools, News, Health Magazine. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Dec. 2012.
http://www.health.com/health/article/0,,20411791,00.html
"How Much Sex is Enough? Scientists Actually Have the Answer. - HealthPop - CBS News." Breaking News Headlines: Business, Entertainment & World News - CBS News. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Dec. 2012.
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20029102-10391704.html
Rankin, Lissa. "Sexual Frequency: How Much Sex Is Enough? | YourTango." YourTango | Smart Talk About Love. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Dec. 2012.
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/lissa-rankin/sexual-frequency-how-much-sex-enough
Rollins, Kristen. "How Much Sex Is Enough? - Lemondrop.com." Women’s Issues, Advice and Personal Stories - HuffPost Women. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Dec. 2012.
http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/03/06/how-much-sex-is-enough
Tancock , Kat. "Sex: How to discuss how much is enough - Sex: How to discuss how much is enough - More magazine." More magazine - Celebrating Women Over 40. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Dec. 2012.
http://www.more.ca/relationships/married-life/sex-how-to-discuss-how-much-is-enough/a/36470
Reviewed December 20, 2012
by Michele Blakcsberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith