Recently, the nation wrestled with the fear and emotional uncertainty resulting from the Boston marathon explosions and ensuing events. We question how: how could this happen? How could these people do such a thing? And, for so many adults and children alike, we may feel a loss of stability and threatened security. A child’s understanding of such a frightening event is very personal. Since children operate from the realm of their own experience and egocentricity, they may feel particularly threatened now and believe that bombs could be dropped on them.
If our children don’t view coverage of tragic events on television, they may hear about them from classmates or teachers. How can parents cope with their own anxieties while reassuring their children that they are safe?
Communicating with children is the key to restoring their security and balance. Here are some ways you can help talk to your child about tragic events.
Remember that just as you should communicate with your child in a way that is appropriate for their age and understanding, your child may react to the anxieties of a tragedy differently based on their own history (if they have been in a hospital before, or if they have recently experienced loss of a loved one) as well as age. Young children may express fears of separation and attachment as anxiety mounts, whereas older children may become more aggressive and express anger as a way to control their feelings of fear and helplessness. If necessary, parents should reach out to a professional to help guide and support themselves and their children as well.
Finally, this is a time when you can and should be overgenerous with hugs and affection. Don’t worry about spoiling your children; you cannot spoil children with love. And love is what they need to feel and witness during these times of tragedy.