Pregnancy is a beautiful time in a woman’s life ... Well, for the most part it is beautiful. But it can also be uncomfortable, emotionally and physically taxing, and darn right difficult.
So when a woman is experiencing this sometimes wonderful, sometimes really tough 40 weeks, there are things that friends, family, and strangers alike should just NEVER say.
1) "A friend climbed mountains until the day she delivered.”
Well, how nice for her. However, most women do not want to hear about the amazing feats of the 1 percent of pregnant women who do amazing things with their bodies all the way up to the delivery date.
She does not want to feel guilty about not doing anything other than sleeping, eating, and sleeping some more. Besides, there’s probably no close mountains to climb, anyway.
2. “Are you done?”
Many moms who waddle around with a full baby belly while also having a toddler (or two or three) walking with them will get asked this question inevitably.
But why? Why is it that a stranger at the grocery store or even one’s own mother would think they should be privy to the inner workings of someone’s fertility? And when one is doubled over from contractions or sitting with swollen cankles the size of grapefruits, that is not the time to think about doing “this” again.
3. “Should you be eating/drinking/doing that?”
Most pregnant women have researched the do’s and don’ts of pregnancy by the time they have peed on a stick. And if they haven’t, when they see their doctor for the first time at the pregnancy confirmation appointment, they will get an earful about what they can and cannot do during pregnancy.
So please do not feel emboldened enough to ask if there is caffeine in her coffee or to make sure she’s just holding the tennis racket and not actually playing. Every pregnant woman is different and she should get medical advice from professionals. Period.
4. “Are you gaining too much weight?”
Beware. Ask this question at your own peril. Pregnant women, especially first-time pregnant ones, are super-sensitive about weight anyway. So this question is likely to be answered in tears.
Perhaps she is gaining too much. Perhaps she’s gaining too little. So what? Her doctor will monitor her weight and discuss it with her accordingly. All anyone should ever say is, “Pregnant? I couldn't even tell!”
5. “When are you moving?”
So maybe there’s more babies than bedrooms in this mom’s home. Perhaps there is not a dedicated space for the 101 things everyone says a new mother should have. But who cares?
Not everyone has the ability to move to their dream child-rearing home as soon as they become pregnant. To assume that this hormonal, child-bearing woman needs to do anything but sit down and eat ice cream is just plain mean. Don’t do it.
Sources:
Shine.Yahoo.com
http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/10-things-pregnant-women-just-dont-want...
Parenting.com. Web. 16 July 2013. “What not to say to a pregnant woman.”
http://www.parenting.com/gallery/what-not-say-pregnant-woman?pnid=556411
Reviewed July 18, 2013
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith