This Thanksgiving season we've had both Black Thursday and Black Friday, and for many this is a major controversy. It makes the public wonder, will there be a “Black Christmas” instead of a White Christmas this year, all in the name of shopping sprees and bargains?
Thanksgiving is all about thankfulness. If you’re too busy shopping for the best deals, you might be forgetting the whole purpose of the holiday: to be grateful for everything that you have and to spend quality time with friends and family.
Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, a licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical consultant to Caron Treatment Centers, said in an email that Thanksgiving Day sales show a societal shift in values.
“I have real concerns over having a day that celebrates consumption and shopping infect a day that has traditionally been associated with family gatherings and gratitude for life's blessings,” Hokemeyer said.
“It is just another example of how we are moving from a character based society, where notions of selflessness, compassion and empathy for others are being replaced by personality based considerations, like narcissism, self aggrandizing and material consumption.”
Black Thursday can make people focus on scarcity instead of abundance as well, he said.
“Instead of listening to our hearts for what we need and allowing ourselves to be rich and full in the moment, we allow ourselves to be manipulated by advertisers and merchants that tell us in our present state we are not enough,” Hokemeyer said.
In fact, sales events like Black Thursday and Black Friday can even add extra stress in our lives.
“[Black Thursday] provides a constant and insatiable stream of needs and wants,” Hokemeyer said.
“For employees of these merchants, the meta message is that money is more important than spending time with your family and friends,” he added.
“Employees who are required or who choose to work are [placing] their financial well being above their emotional well being.”
Hokemeyer suggested that if you do participate in Black Thursday, Black Friday or other holiday sales events, to recognize them as a manipulative way for merchants to put more money in their pockets.
“I think people continue to participate in the mass sales because they make them feel good, at least in the short run,” he said.
“They are like eating a big piece of chocolate cake,” Hokemeyer added. “They provide the person with a rush of excitement, but in the long run leave them feeling depleted and hungering for something of substance.”
So what is actually going on in our brains during these sales events of the year?
“The excitement and frenzy surrounding these events activate our limbic system, which makes us act impulsively,” Hokemeyer said. “At the same time, this frenzy shuts down our pre-frontal cortex, the part of our brain that makes us think rationally.”
“So in essence, these events make us act like reptiles, focused only on fulfilling our most primitive needs and prevent us from being fully human,” he added.
Stephanie Manes, a licensed clinical social worker, said in an email that sales events that land on the same day as holidays, such as this year’s Black Thursday, can cause people to “lose the human connection that is what holidays are all about.”
On Black Thursday, some people may have only lost a couple hours with family, but others might have skipped family time all together just to stand in line for the newest TV.
When you connect with family and friends on Thanksgiving, your sense of well-being can improve. When you replace that with shopping, you can add stress, especially when you spend money you don’t have, which can lead to unhappiness.
There are also the people who are forced to work on Thanksgiving and other holidays.
“Being robbed of a holiday can leave people feeling resentful, powerless, and deprived,” Manes said. “We no longer get the psychological reprieve of a day when we can't do much more than connect with others.”
Of course, there are people who need the extra money and welcome the idea of working on holidays. And some people might not have family and friends who live close by or don’t want to feel forced into a family gathering if they don’t have a close relationship with family members.
She suggested that if you really want to partake in Black Thursday in the future, just make it a quick trip, not an all-night event. If you aren’t able to get the best deal, don’t sweat it – just remember that it’s not the end of the world, and objects don’t have a lasting impact on your life.
“I'm pretty skeptical that there is anything out there in any of the stores that is more valuable than someone's sense of peace and balance,” Manes said.
Sources:
Hokemeyer, Paul. Email interview. November 26, 2013.
http://www.drhokemeyer.com/about-paul
Manes, Stephanie. Email interview. November 26, 2013.
http://www.stephaniemaneslcsw.com
Reviewed November 29, 2013
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith