No one really knows why potty training is a breeze for some kids and a hassle for others, or why some kids can stay dry through the night and others seem to take so long. The only commonality all these experiences have is that every child is different.
That seems to be little comfort to the parent who has changed sheets and PJs five nights out of seven.
Frustration comes when parents think, “Hey, he’s five years old now, I should be done with diapers,” or “I thought we were done with this potty training thing.” Then you add disrupted sleep patterns from sheet changing and cleaning up and trying to problem-solve when you’re half-asleep.
You have a recipe for negatively impacting your child’s self-esteem and how they — and you — are able to handle the things they face each day.
I was quite surprised to find out how common bedwetting is. “[M]any children do not stay dry at night until age 7.” (1) In addition, the several reasons that it could be happening helped me realize that I didn’t need to panic because my child was five and still wetting the bed.
I’m hoping this information will also set other moms’ minds at ease.
Why does my child wet the bed?
While the exact cause of bedwetting is not known and can vary from child to child, there are several possible reasons:
• Small bladder
• Deep or heavy sleeper
• Learning disabilities that may affect the child’s processing of the sensation of needing to urinate
• Amount of urine produced overnight is too much for your child’s bladder to hold
• Emotional stress
“Bedwetting often runs in families. If both parents wet the bed as children, their child is likely to have the same problem. If only one parent has a history of bedwetting, the child has about a 30 percent chance of having the problem. Some children wet the bed even if neither parent ever did.” (1)
What can I do to help my child stay dry?
There are several things:
• Make sure he/she drinks enough during the day so that he/she’s not thirsty right before bed.
• Avoid sodas, hot chocolate, tea and other caffeinated drinks. Caffeine is a diuretic and increases the body’s production of urine.
• Make sure he/she urinates before going to bed and, perhaps, before you go to bed.
• If your child wets in the middle of the night, try to anticipate about what time during the night to put him/her on the potty to avoid that accident.
• Make a big deal when they wake up dry.
• Start a reward calendar or chart system.
Daniel Kessler, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician in Phoenix, Arizona, told Babycenter.com that a reward calendar or chart system might work for some kids because “[s]eeing the number of dry nights increase week by week is usually a positive motivating factor that parents can encourage with their praise.” (2)
For some children — please consult your family doctor before trying this — bladder-stretching exercises might work. Encourage the child to hold the urine for 10 seconds when she feels the need to go until the urge subsides. When the child needs to go again, he/she should try to hold it again.
The only problem with holding the urine longer is the potential for urinary tract infections, which can result when the bladder is not emptied as regularly as it needs. That’s why consultation with a family doctor is recommended before trying this.
Stay calm. Don’t panic.
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is to not scold a child for wetting the bed. Scolding and punishing your child will not help him/her stay dry and will only create stressful nights for him or her.
If nighttime training is becoming too stressful for you and your child, just like with daytime training, take a break from it and try it again after a while. It is important to do this without an attitude of guilt and failure.
For example, my 5-year-old has four of the above possible reasons for continuing to wet his bed, and the disrupted sleep was having a role in his behavior at school. I decided to relieve the pressure off both of us, and (hopefully) on his teachers, and let go of the nighttime training and go back to Pull-Ups temporarily.
I explained that his body wasn’t ready yet and that it was important that he and I both get enough sleep. I explained that we can try again when his body starts showing more signs that it’s ready.
It’s also important that we moms don’t see this as a failure to be a good mother — because it’s not.
You haven’t failed and neither has your child. The challenge is to work with your child’s needs and not to panic if something doesn’t appear to be working as you would have liked. A lot of parenting is just going with the flow (no pun intended).
Hang in there moms!
Sources:
1. What I need to know about My Child’s Bedwetting. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, national Kidney and Urologic Diseases Information Clearinghouse (NKUDIC). Web. Dec 4, 2013.
http://kidney.niddk.nih.gov/KUDiseases/pubs/bedwetting_EZ/index.aspx
2. Developmental milestone: Nighttime dryness. Henry, Sarah. BabyCenter.com. Web. Dec 4, 2013.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_developmental-milestone-nighttime-dryness_67742.bc?page=1
Reviewed December 4, 2013
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith
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Description: No one really knows why potty training is a breeze for some kids and a hassle for others, or why some kids can stay dry through the night and others seem to take so long. The only commonality all these experiences have is that every child is different. That seems to be little comfort to the parent who has changed sheets and pjs five nights out of seven.
Page Title: Bedwetting common up to age 7