You’ve probably heard the expression all fun and no play makes for a dull time ... or something like that. That’s certainly the case for today’s families. We spend so much time scheduling this and that, and registering for this activity and that activity and shuttling kids here and there.
And when we’re not doing all this planning and travelling to get to all that we’ve planned, there’s eating (mostly on the run) after mom and/or dad get home from work, then cram in an hour or so for homework before bedtime.
Kinda like this family.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEuUOfO-GZE
I think we can all identify with this kind of busy-ness. And even if we’re not scheduled to the hilt, we still believe in running a home that’s full of structure and rules. But while those are definitely needed — kids need a predictable bedtime routine for instance — have we gone too far and scheduled family fun time out of the equation altogether?
Just like we parents need downtime from all the things going on around us, so do our kids. And so do we, as families. So many families spend their time apart — possibly still within the same house, as rarely as that seems to happen, but so often in different rooms doing activities that don’t involve anybody else.
This kind of schedule just runs on and on until finally parents look at each other and realize they don’t know their kids anymore, or each other.
Just like moms and dads need to keep the romance in their relationship, they need to keep the fun in families. Families should not be just about keeping on schedule. Families need fun time, bonding time. Time when there are no expectations placed on them except having fun.
Family fun needs to be a family priority from the beginning since “family bonding teaches children how to get their parents’ attention through good behaviour instead of bad.” (4) This implies that one of the factors affecting bad or challenging childhood behavior is this vying for attention.
We spend so much time running from activity to activity and teaching our kids to entertain themselves, and yet spend so little time actually interacting and playing with them ... and a lot of the time, all kids want is our undivided attention.
When your children are all grown up and moved away, what memories will they take with them of their families? Will they remember all the activities you went to — fondly, not-so-fondly?
What would you like them to remember about their childhood? I’ve often found that children don’t remember the things we think they remember.
As a single parent, I have to compromise on a lot of things because there’s only me. I don’t have any parental back-up and there’s only so much a single person can do.
But I determined that I wanted laughter in my house. I also wanted to rebond with my older son. Kinda tough to manage this with an autistic teenager, but I did through introducing simple card games after dinner (Dutch Blitz, Uno, SkipBo) which my almost six-year-old is now learning to play.
It’s so easy after a stressful day or week of whatever to simply say, “Nah, don’t feel like it tonight.” But your kids need that bonding time with you and you need that bonding time with them. And having fun doesn’t even need to be as structured as a card game.
Below are a few more examples of simple family fun activities to get families playing and laughing and loving each other.
How to Bring Back the Fun in Your Family
5 games to play at the dinner table
Play with Your Food! Bringing Fun Back to the Family Table
Sources:
1. How to Bring Back the Fun in Your Family. Hodge, Tammy. Graceformoms.com. Web. Accessed: Apr 7, 2014.
http://www.graceformoms.com/how-to-bring-back-the-fun-in-your-family
2. 5 Games to play at the dinner table. Hobza, Kat. SheKnows Parenting. Web. Accessed: Apr 7, 2014.
http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/824467/5-games-to-play-at-the-dinner-table
3. Play with Your Food! Bringing Fun Back to the Family Table. American Family Insurance. Web. Accessed: Apr 7, 2014.
https://blog.amfam.com/blog/play-with-your-food-bringing-fun-back-to-the-family-table
4. Family Bonding. Supernanny. Web. Accessed: Apr 7, 2014.
http://www.supernanny.co.uk/TV-Show/Clips/Clips/Family-Bonding.aspx
Reviewed April 8, 2014
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith