Most of us who spend any amount of time online have experienced those “oops” moments. We’ve mistyped something into a search engine or entered a seemingly innocent batch of keywords, only to have blatant sexual or other inappropriate content come up in the results.
If we see it, chances are our children see it too, and they’re even less equipped to emotionally process what they see than we are.
What’s the Big Deal? Kids don’t Know what They’re Seeing
Children process sexual and violent material differently than adults. We may not think children actually retain what they see and don’t understand. But if parenting has taught me anything, it’s that children are paying much more attention than we think, and not always to the things we think, either.
Children may not be able to verbalize that such pictures are bothering them. But, even adults find it difficult to get a disturbing image out of their heads, although exposure may have been only in passing from an unexpected pop-up or scrolling through YouTube videos.
Imagine what it’s like for a child who doesn’t have the frame of reference or life experience you do.
How many times has your child come to you after seeing something frightening during her day and told you she's now afraid of the monsters in her closet, or she's had a scary dream?
These fears and anxieties are all influenced by things they’ve seen or perceived. We may think that some of these things are innocent and fun, but some children process what they see differently and will act out the emotional effects.
Exposure to Inappropriate Content Makes Kids Think It’s Normal
While TV, Internet, video games and other media cannot be blamed as the sole cause of some children’s behavior, research is showing more and more that exposure to this kind of content in the media normalizes violence and sexual activities for children. (3)
Not only that, the more children see, the more they’ll become desensitized to it. Even watching seemingly positive superhero type movies, children may not learn or realize that there are other methods of dealing with conflict resolution, and may come to believe that it’s the only way to get what they want. (4)
They may see the Ninja Turtles or other martial arts programs and not realize that one of the tenets of the discipline is to walk away from a conflict, and that the martial arts skills are only to be used as a last resort.
Conclusions for Parents
Whether our children and teens are watching us, their friends, movies, TV programs, or happening upon inappropriate content online, they are influenced by what they see.
Children naturally learn by observing, imitating and adopting the behaviors they see, depending on the results they get from observers of that behavior.
The content is not only available on TV, but on computers and electronic devices whenever our children use them, sometimes without our knowledge. Because of this, it is becoming increasingly difficult to prevent our children from seeing inappropriate sexual or violent content.
However, parents also need to see these situations as teaching moments. They need to talk to their children and teens about the real costs and consequences of violence and sexually explicit behavior.
And they need to talk about Internet safety in an age-appropriate manner. Obviously, a five-year-old needs a different choice of words and details than a teen.
Parents can no longer plead ignorance or dismiss the influence of their children’s media activities. It’s our responsibility to shape our kids’ attitudes and behaviors.
We cannot remain blind to the plethora of influential materials that our children are exposed to not only outside the home, but likely right in our living rooms or in their bedrooms.
Sources:
1) Kids Being Exposed to Sexually Explicit Material. The Door that’s not Locked. Web. Accessed: Oct 28, 2014.
http://www.thedoorthatsnotlocked.ca/app/en/parent/8-9/playing_in_an_uncensored_world
2) Internet porn bad for adolescent health. Medical Journal of Australia. University of New South Wales. Web. Accessed: Oct 28, 2014.
http://medicalxpress.com/news/2012-05-internet-porn-bad-adolescent-health.html
3) The Impact of Media Violence on Children and Adolescents: Opportunities for Clinical Interventions. Beresin, Eugene V.. American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. Web. Accessed: Oct 28, 2014.
http://www.aacap.org/aacap/Medical_Students_and_Residents/Mentorship_Matters/DevelopMentor/The_Impact_of_Media_Violence_on_Children_and_Adolescents_Opportunities_for_Clinical_Interventions.aspx
4) Media Violence. American Academy of Pediatrics. Pediatrics Vol. 124 No. 5 November 1, 2009
pp. 1495 -1503. Web. Accessed: Oct 28, 2014.
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/124/5/1495.full
Reviewed October 31, 2014
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith