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Q: Everytime I turn on Facebook I see someone else is engaged, or got a new job, or went to Turks & Caicos, or had a beautiful baby girl or boy. And here I am, in the same job, same town, wearing clothes from 10 years ago. I’m just not feeling good about myself when I see all the great things everyone else is doing.
A: Ah, dear social media butterfly! I feel your pain. I, too, fall into the FOMO (in other words, fear of missing out) syndrome when I see the milestones of my friends appear on my newsfeed, with hundreds of likes attached, no less!
First, repeat after me: “I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.”
Why am I asking you to speak this out loud? Because everything you’ve “accomplished” and “succeeded” has been beautifully unique to you - and, might I add, may be causing others on your newsfeed to compare and contrast to you, my darling!
We may in fact, without realizing it, be the most amazing inspiration to those who see our newsfeed because we’re rocking out at our job, or traveling the world, or making five star vegetarian meals which we religiously Instagram every night at 8PM sharp!
So whatever amazingness you’ve forgotten you actually already are, you now get to acknowledge it, embrace it and celebrate the fact that you too are sharing the greatness that is your life, and inspiring others in the process!
Now, as for that vacation to Turks & Caicos, baby bump and new clothes … let’s step back for a second and ask yourself this important question. Do you really want all of that? Are you really ready for a family in your 20s, and honestly, what’s wrong with that vacation you took to Hawaii just six months ago?!
Regarding your clothes, perhaps you may need an upgrade to feel good for the new season of style (the holidays are fast approaching, after all). Why not visit your nearby consignment store and exchange some of your old duds for new ones? We often get in “our own way” to making positive change. If you want something someone else has, what’s truly holding you back? Take a moment to reflect on this and break through anything self-imposed barriers you find.
Finally, it’s important to let go of the comparison complex by embracing the connection of celebration, instead. What do I mean by this? When you see a post which “triggers” you - meaning it makes you feel bad inside, like you’re “missing” something or “not good enough” - choose to publicly LIKE it rather than privately LOATHE it. Like, comment, share! Anything to show that you are supportive of this person’s accomplishment because if they can do it, so can you.
The activity of celebrating someone else will make you feel good because you are encouraging, motivating and applauding what you believe is possible for you, too … when the timing is right for you, too!
TIP: “I’m Proud of Me Right Now Because” Exercise
Still can’t shake the feelings of FOMO?
Take out a piece of paper or open the notepad application on your smartphone, and begin writing a list of the things you’ve “done” or “accomplished” this year which make you proud.
Add a few seemingly simple things you love about yourself: your high energy, your culinary skills, your curly, kinky, natural hair … whatever it is that makes you the powerful, beautiful and special you - this is your private newsfeed of “milestones” that reminds you no matter what anyone else is doing, you’ve got your lane and you’re driving just fine!
Tomorrow I (@SammyDavisTV) will be co-hosting EmpowHER's #HERchat with Katie K., author and speaker, (@playwithkatiek) to talk about gratitude. We'll be talking about how to be more positive and thankful everyday, making your life healthier and happier. Join us!
Bio: Sammy Davis is an inspirational speaker, author and empowerment coach on the power of positive thinking and conscious living. Visit her at SammyD.TV to learn more about the art of positive thinking and to check out her resources. Join her free Facebook sisterhood circle, *SPARK SISTERS. Follow her on Instagram for daily motivation and inspiration to embrace the joy of living.