Has there ever been a moment when you are talking with someone and you are focusing on what are going to say next rather than on what that person is saying?
Have you ever been nervous reaching out to make a connection with another human being or around clarifying your motives and intentions surrounding the connection?
Your nervous feelings are often times fueled by neediness: A need for a certain response or outcome. The actual anxiety around your rapport in situations like this often flows from fear...fear that you won't get what you want from the rapport.
Neediness shuts down forward progress in rapport situations very quickly because the person communicating can pick up on this subconsciously, which kicks in the fight, flight or freeze mode.
The next time you feel anxiety around a connection try this:
Listen to understand rather than to be understood. Release a personal agenda of getting and focus on what you can give.
Pause and pray: Dear God grant me the grace to release my grip on all motives that do not serve the ultimate good for all concerned. Help me to remember that I am OK with or without my desired outcome. I am here to love first and foremost, then lead.
When you approach each person with an authentic desire for their ultimate good along with being unattached to the outcome you will create open communication & instant positive rapport.
Lauren E Miller, Stress Relief/Personal Excellence Educator; Founder and Managing Partner of Grab & Go Stress Solutions, International Award Winning Author/Speaker/Trainer/Coach. Through product resources; mainstream media; 1:1 coaching; workshops; seminars and 30 day, 3 minute a day programs, Lauren equips thousands of people world wide with effective, sustainable skillsets that produce positive behavioral shifts which expand the ability to excel in life without all of the stress and anxiety resulting in purpose driven, confident living; goal achievement and work-life satisfaction.
Explore more of Lauren’s work in the world at her main website: Http://LaurenEMiller.com