I am 27 years old and had babies of gap 14 months and via csection. My pregnancy and delivery were complicated and hated myself to the core. I slipped into depression when my second baby was 2 months. Now they are 2 years old and 10 months old
I am working too. The strenuous 2 years took heavy toll on my health physically and mentally, leaving me with a wide hernia and ab muscles split badly.
My husband is more hell bent on seeing me sad. If he sees me laughing and enjoying he just ruins it by fault in me. Making me feel a bad mom and bad wife, though i know i am giving my best he does this daily. I hate going to my home after work, only my babies smiles keeps me going.
He makes me feel i am dumb. Inefficient. Idiot. Irresponsible. He was brought up by his stepfather and his mom. His mother keeps reminding me that i am lucky to have my hubby alive unlike her. I mean she is actualy saying her son is lucky he is alive. Then he tries to say to say that his mom managed 2 kids at such young age being a widow etc. I respect that but it doesnt mean just bcoz she was a widow i am also supposed to live like a widow with a living hubby.
He is the one who is irresponsible as a husband and father. Yet the way he says it and makes me feel i am a loser. Whyýyyyy
I hate this life. I am giving my best. Buttttt... somedays i want to run from all this. Or even better let go of all this and leave forever.. hie emotional abuse is killing me. Cant go on..
I want to say more but words are less to describe my feelings