We have been married for 9 years, together 11. I had no idea this was happening until a week ago. He was mortified that I "caught" him and it led to a huge fight. I have since been really upset about it. Its not the watching porn thing, its the leaving bed with me or staying up late instead of coming to bed ot have sex with me that bothers me. I am willing whenever, I have even offered bj's or hj's and he has turned me down only to masturbate later, or gone into the shower to do it. What the heck? We have a pretty good sex life, 2-4 times a week and it is always good. We generally reach orgasm at the same time. He never has a problem getting it up or going to completion. I would rather he turned to be for his needs I feel he is bored with me. Am I being crazy?
He is under a lot of stress with his job right now and to be honest we have been having problems for about 6 months. He was texting a girl and deleting some of the texts. I caught him and flipped. I told him he could leave. I'd rather be with someone who wanted to be with me but he said no he wants me and has only ever wanted me. It sure doesn't feel that way, but why isn't he leaving? I do still love him and he tells me all the time that he loves me but I don't know if I believe him. I suggested counselling and he said no way. His family never talks about problems. you pretend like nothing happened. that's how they work it so he is very uncomfortable talking.