I have just started a new relationship with a man I have known for many years. He has admired and desired me for over a decade and I started developing feelings a couple of years ago. We're so happy together now.
The only problem is he's never been able to keep an erection. We've tried a dozen times to have sex but at every stage he's just gone soft.
He's told me this has never happened to him before. I know logically that he finds me attractive; a lingering hug can produce an erection. But we haven't been able to have sex or even maintain foreplay.
Sex is not the most important thing but it's a level of closeness we both want. He's ashamed I think, and even though it's hit my self-esteem hard I've been outwardly calm and supportive. But It's really getting us down.
He's a little overweight, smokes and enjoys alcohol but he's in his mid-20's. This keeps happening over and over and over... I'm not putting any pressure on him and doing my best to make him feel comfortable and desired without preformance expectations. How can we fix this?