6 months ago I had my first genital herpes outbreak. I am 24 years old slowly but surely accepting my condition and dealing with it accordingly. Fast forward.
I met someone I like and told him I had the virus for genital herpes and currently on suppressive medication for two months now (I take 400mg acyclovir twice a day). I explained to him that taking this medication and having protected sex lowers his chance of being infected. I haven't had any outbreak since I begun taking the medication. I know the virus can be shed but shedding reduces because I am on medication. He seemed to understand but yesterday we had protected sex yesterday (the sex was great) but after he had a panic attack :(. It stressed me out so much that for a split second I was thinking about not disclosing my status to any potential partner again. Next day he texted me that the attack was triggered by him thinking about catching the infection and/ or passing it to his daughter.
How can I explain to him that we can still be intimate and protect him? For example,
1. How does one know that they are shedding the virus?
2. Can he perform me oral sex on me?
3. Can he finger me and still be protected?
4. Can we cuddle while naked?
5. Can I spread him the virus if I have vaginal cuts from rough sex?
6. What is the risk of transmission from female to male?
7. Should my medication be changed to valacyclovir to lower the risk of transmission to him?