I’ve had terrific experiences with doctors in attempting to alleviate debilitating pain—even minimal relief would be helpful. (I know I am by far not alone in this experience.)
But now my need has become more serious with added diseases of ideopathic severe osteoporosis (I’m only 49 and have lost 4” height due to many, many vertebral fractures), degenerative spinal arthritis, osteoarthritis, and more. I had to go on disability at 35 and working was my greatest joy; losing my ability to contribute something positive in this world, losing my ability to serve a purpose, being useful...the loss of my health has been extremely destructive to my ability to feel joy, develop friendships and relationships, and to my sense of hope for the future. I’ve become isolated, and I’m facing worsening quality of life in my increasing inability to handle caring for myself, and worse, inevitable homelessness when my mother passes.
I simply want to be functional. Opiate-based pain management has been the only treatment that has worked over a sustained period of time. But doctors no longer want to have someone like me as a patient (the sheer number of diseases and syndromes, such as fms and crps, etc in addition to others mentioned above): they simply view me as complicated and too frustrating. My worth has also been diminished after being asked if I have children (no) and if I’m married (no).
I am never without pain, and it’s generally severe and very restrictive. My sense of hope has all but disappeared and I feel helpless now to gain any control over improving my life.
(As with almost all chronic pain sufferers, I have tried EVERY alternative therapy.)
I no longer know what to do. I’m so deeply affected by physician attitudes that directly or indirectly accuse me of being a drug-seeker, I’ve stopped asking any specialist for help. I’ve also unwillingly internalized their attitudes that I’m not really hurting, that I’m simply not ‘mentally strong enough’ to just power through my pain, ‘get over it,’ or that I’m just a highly neurotic woman.
These visits to doctors have become so difficult to handle, to transcend afterward: the deeply insulting words, the degree of apathy or dismissal of my now very small, unhappy life, etc, I’ve stopped looking for help.