I often think back to my baby shower. It was filled with people I loved and very few of them asked to rub my belly (which is probably why I loved them in the first place). I was so excited and geared up for the things I thought would be difficult: the long nights. The spit up. The windy entry to parenthood.
Like most things in life, you can only prepare so much. For a list-maker and type-A organizer such as myself, parenthood was a recognition that you can only plan moment-to-moment. On good days, you may be able to plan a whole morning. On bad days, you may only be able to plan a minute at a time.
Then you get into a rhythm. And even if that rhythm is only a few days old, you kind of like it. You can anticipate. You know when the tantrums might happen or when the hunger might happen or when the naps might happen.
You’ve. Got. This.
Except there is something known as toilet training. There hits a point in most of our lives when we have to wipe our own bums. It is a sad but honest truth. Even though this point seems logical to you, to many toddlers it is not a point worth discussing.
If you are looking at your pile of diapers and thinking “the end ought to be near” this article is for you. Here are some tips for toilet training your toddler (even if the words "train" and "toddler" are oxymoronic):
1) Timelines aren’t for everyone. While some styles claim that you can get the job done in three days, you may know that your toddler likes to take his or her time. Even if it worked for your friend and your sister, it doesn’t mean it isn’t worth trying a slow and steady approach. Take into account what your toddler’s personality is, which should go above and beyond what any book has to say.
2) Being early might be more frustrating than it is worth. While some kids are ready at 18 months, the majority aren’t ready until between 2 and 4 years of age. (1) Some of the cues for readiness include an avid interest when you go to the bathroom, a dislike of wearing a soiled diaper and an understanding of simple instruction.
3) Pee usually comes first. Control of the bowels comes second and if there isn’t the option of a diaper, some kids will go on the floor and some will hold it in. If you have the latter kid, it can lead to constipation and a fear of using the potty. Taking your time with one part of the equation can help ease the stress of the experience. (1)
4) Night training happens naturally. This is due to maturation in the brain and can take significantly longer than the toilet training process. Overnight training pants and mattress covers are your friend.
5) Some pantless days may help you along. What this can do is teach your kid not to pee in small bursts and it can help you tune into what your child does before he or she pees or poops, whether it be a telltale expression to even a dance. (2) Prepare to put your phone on silent. Prepare for a long day.
6) Don’t ask your kid. So many of us ask them questions throughout the day, “Would you like to…” “Are you ready?” which is wonderful as it gives the child a sense of self mastery. However, time is of the essence. Plop them on the potty. Don’t ask them if they are ready. You can make it interesting but given a choice, they will probably decide on “no.”
Sidenote: I never thought I would write the words “pee” and “poo” so much. What's done is done.