Traveling With Grandchildren

Where Do Grandparents and Grandchildren Go?

A 2000 TeleNation telephone survey of 2,000 adults indicated that Orlando was the number one choice of grandparents traveling with grandkids. Anaheim and New York City round out the top three. Wesa says that Orlando, the Disney theme parks, and cruises are great destinations for grandparents and grandchildren, because they offer activities that both generations will enjoy.

Patty and Ron Love, of Winter Park, Florida, frequently take their eight-year-old grandson with them on vacation. They've already visited the theme parks, but this year they planned a more laid back, family-centered vacation at a lakefront house, rekindling memories of a previous summer spent in North Carolina.

"Austin gets up in the morning and runs down to see Gramps, who's sipping coffee on the dock," says Patty. "They swim off the dock and fish and have a great time."

Developing Relationships

In addition to having fun together, traveling with your grandkids will help establish and maintain the relationship.

"The grandparent/grandchild bond is very special and unique. What I call 'the vital connection' depends on one-to-one attention," says researcher and medical writer Arthur Kornhaber, MD, founder and president of the Foundation For Grandparenting, in Ojai, California. "When the parents and grandparents get together, parents take up a lot of the grandparents' time, and the kids don't get to know them very well."

Years ago, when multiple generations lived in the same household, there were many opportunities to pass along family history and wisdom. Now families must create those times. Grandparenting adds meaning and a sense of usefulness to later years.

"Grandparents are a living repository of knowledge," Kornhaber explains. "Kids learn things from grandparents [that] they learn from no one else."

Kornhaber's research has shown that the grandparent/grandchild bond is second only to the parental relationship.

"It's terribly important [for grandparents and kids] to be alone together," Kornhaber says. "And that time can be expanded, especially if it's followed up with individual phone calls, faxes, and emails. You can become a very important part of your grandchildren's lives, even if you just spend a couple of weeks alone with them during the year."

Plus, when grandchildren travel with grandparents, it gives their parents some much needed time alone together.

Tips

Kornhaber suggests that grandparents start with a short, three-day trip when the grandchild reaches school age, although the Grandparents' and Grandchildren's Camp that Kornhaber's foundation operates in the Adirondacks has played host to kids as young as two.

Younger children handle shorter trips better than they do lengthy vacations. A teen might appreciate a two-week sojourn packed with activities, but shorten the stay if you're traveling with little ones. If you're unsure if a child is ready for a night away from Mom and Dad, consider a trial run—an overnight stay at a hotel not far from home, just in case you have to make a midnight run for home.

The experts recommend several tips to make your trip the best it can be.

Planning tips:

• Discuss plans with and obtain support for the trip from the parents.
• Include the children in planning. Prepare with a library or cyberspace visit, researching activities and learning about possible destinations.
• Tailor plans to the children's ages, keeping museum stops short unless they include a hands-on area for the younger ones.
• Arrange time for swimming and playing. This way, youngsters can expend a little energy while the grown-ups relax.
• Intersperse major activities with the more tranquil and mundane. For instance, after spending a day at a theme park, plan the next day at the beach or a nature preserve.
• Stay at a "kid-friendly" hotel or suite property, which affords a bit more privacy. If you're unsure about the hotel, call the property before booking. If you're going to the beach, Wesa recommends that you stay at a condo nearby.
• Before leaving, tell the children what behavior you expect.
• If you're driving, let an auto technician check the car, and obtain safety seats for small children.
• Find the travel option that best suits you and your grandchildren, such as a vacation spent volunteering, a stay at an Elder hostel, a family-oriented cruise, or a tour specifically designed for grandparents and grandchildren.

Travel tips:

• Incorporate as much of the child's regular routine into the trip as possible, maintaining nap, meal, and bed times.
• Pack a night light, first-aid kit, suntan lotion, and comfortable shoes.
• Leave an itinerary with the children's parents.
• Bring along the parents' notarized authorization for medical care in case of an emergency and for crossing international borders.
• Colorfully wrap and take along books, games, and age-appropriate activities that can be opened along the way.
• Let the children bring a CD or cassette player with headphones.
• When driving, stop at least every two hours for stretching and restroom breaks. Go with the children into the restroom.
• Drink plenty of water, eat healthful snacks and meals, and pack a few moist towels for clean up.
• Spend time reading together, watching a movie or ]]>walking]]> .
• Share the joy of discovering and experiencing life.
• Maintain a positive, nonjudgmental attitude.
• Stay flexible. Allow room for spontaneity.
• Encourage the children to keep a ]]>journal]]> , writing or drawing pictures about the adventure.
• Take photos and record the young one's comments, then after the trip review the pictures and relive the memories together.

Have Fun!

Wesa recommends relaxing and thinking like a kid, which has been easier for her to do with her grandchildren than it was with her children.

"The secret is to have fun with the kids," Wesa says. "They give you a different perspective. It's the most wonderful experience. It slows you down and helps you take a breath."

"My grandkids will grow up thinking I'm the coolest grandmother in town. Traveling has been my best times with the grandkids," Wesa concludes. "Some people may be hesitant to take their grandchildren, but once they do it, they probably won't want to travel without one."