Business travel, a seemingly inescapable aspect of today's corporate culture, presents special challenges and opportunities for parents.
Corporate jaunts to exotic and not-so-exciting places offer chances to experience more of the world or order breakfast in bed, but for many of America's nearly 44 million business travelers, even clinching an important deal can lose some of its luster when thoughts turn to missed moments with family members.
"It's a chance for you to be a great parent," says Dan Verdick, frequent traveler and author of The Business Traveling Parent: How to Stay Close to Your Kids When You're Far Away . "If a family commits itself to having the energy and time to make the most of the situation, it can really be good."
First off, parents need to work together. Communication and sensitivity to other family members' feelings provide a necessary foundation for turning business travel into a positive family experience.
"You have to have a supportive spouse, because they also assume your role," says traveler Jeff Zimmerman, with AAA Publishing.
Experts agree. Marriage and family counselor Chris Essex, co-director of the Center For Work and the Family in Rockville, Maryland, recommends Mom and Dad talk to each other about their feelings, frustrations (what it's like to be on the road or left at home), and expectations. Ideally, discussions should lead to agreements about responsibilities, decision-making, handling emergencies, when to call, and departure and return routines.
"The degree of agreement and difference in feelings between the two parents has a lot to do with how upset the children are," says family psychologist Irene Goldenberg at the UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute in Los Angeles.
The following are some ideas to help your child prepare for your business trip.
While some people hold jobs earning them elite airline status, on average, business travelers take only five trips per year, just enough to upset a child's regular routine.
Even when happy to come home, re-entry can prove stressful. The longer the traveling parent has been gone, the more the stay-at-home parent has adapted. Sometimes children will act out when the absent parent returns, especially if they feel more comfortable with that person.
"People need to decompress, but children demand an immediate response," says Goldenberg. Spend 10 minutes, without acting cross. Review the keepsake box. Let them help with unpacking. Talk about whatever is on the child's mind. And next time business travel takes you away, let it serve as the impetus to uncover interesting tidbits about distant locales, start some new traditions and bring your family closer together.
"There is no right or wrong way to do this. It should be based on the ages of the kids, the needs of the kids and what each partner needs," says Essex, whose husband flies more than a million miles a year. "There are lots of people doing it really well, but it's hard."
RESOURCES:
Travel Industry Association of America
http://www.tia.org
UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute
http://www.semel.ucla.edu/
Verdick D. The Business Traveling Parent: How to Stay Close to Your Kids When You're Far Away . Robins Lane Press; 2000.
CANADIAN RESOURCES:
AboutKidsHealth
http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/
Transport Canada
http://www.tc.gc.ca/en/menu.htm
Last reviewed November 2009 by Brian Randall, MD
Please be aware that this information is provided to supplement the care provided by your physician. It is neither intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. CALL YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER IMMEDIATELY IF YOU THINK YOU MAY HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider prior to starting any new treatment or with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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