Listen to sex therapist Dr. Marty Klein respond to women's most intimate sexual health questions. Discover how Dr. Klein's advice has improved Michelle King Robson's sex life and hear Dr. Klein respond to questions submitted by EmpowHer's members. What are the drugs that women can take to enhance their orgasms? If you've got a sexual health question that needs answering, click here to ask the community
Over Dr. Marty Klein's 24-year career as a Marriage Counselor, Sex Therapist & author, he's continually called attention to the social conditions that make people feeling guilty, confused, scared, and hopeless about our sexualfeelings and relationships.
Read below the full transcript of the show.
EmpowHer Host Todd Hartley: Where can you turn when you have a sex question that absolutely needs answering? It’s time for ‘Ask me anything’ with sex therapist and marriage counselor Dr. Marty Klein. From EmpowHer studios here is Dr. Marty Klein and EmpowHer CEO Michelle King Robson.
Founder/CEO Michelle King Robson: How are you Dr. Klein?
Dr. Marty Klein, Ph. D.: Hi, how are you?
MICHELLE: Thank you for joining us this morning.
DR. KLEIN: My pleasure.
Michelle: Well, I have to tell you that you have changed the way I look at my sexual health.
DR. KLEIN: Really?
MICHELLE: Really, I never thought it would happen but one of the videos that we did with you, Todd added it and brought it into the hanger, what we call the hanger, which is where our office is, and he showed me the video and I just sat there, number 1, I was smiling which is usually when I talk about…
TODD: She wasn’t smiling, she was crying, she was laughing so hard.
MICHELLE: But when you know, when you talk about sexual health sometimes with women its really hard for us to embrace it and you just made it so easy for me to feel good about caring about my sexual health and wanting to really do more about it, be more proactive with it and actually talk about it. So you gave me freedom.
DR. KLEIN: Well that’s terrific. That’s what one of the things that my work is really all about is giving people, men and women of all ages, all relationship situations, giving people back the power to shape their own sex life, to shape their own sexual experience.
MICHELLE: Exactly what I am saying with myself but also I do have to tell you that I took the video. We have not taken this video out yet because we just feel that it is going to be so hugely viral and go everywhere on the internet that we’ve kind of being keeping it under wraps until we’re ready to go.
So but I have shown it to a couple of people and every time I show it the first thing they say is, “Can I have a copy of that?” And I said, “No, you can’t”, because I know what you’re going to do, you’re going to start spreading it around and we don’t want it out there quite yet, but I did take it.
I had dinner with my girlfriends the other night and so I said, “Oh, you have to see this video, you just have to”, and of course we always get on the topic of sex and we were talking about Sex and the City, going and seeing the movie and so I said, “Well, you just let me show you this video quickly”, and we’re out in the middle of this garden area, you can imagine this Dr. Klein, and were surrounded by tables full of people and they said, “You’re really not going to show this right here, are you?” And I said, “Well why not?” They said, “Well everybody’s going to hear it”, and I said, “So”, and there are these couples around and they were just having every one of them just turn bright red.
So I started rolling the video and it happened to be on orgasms, on women and orgasms and you should have seen their faces, it was just hysterical to watch and the one who is always the most outgoing and says things that you just wouldn’t think somebody, she gets away with more than anybody else, she was the quietest and she said afterwards, “You know, it just embarrasses me”, and I said, “What”, and she said, “Well, I can’t say certain words”.
I said, “You were kidding me. You say everything. What are you talking about?” So this started a whole another conversation. So I gave her the job until I see her again on Monday that she has to say the word ‘vulva’ over and over again until it has no meaning, that it’s just, it has no charge for her.
DR. KLEIN: Oh we should get all of our listeners right now to say the word ‘vulva’.
TODD: Vulva.
MICHELLE: Vulva.
DR. KLEIN: There you go. Everybody listening, today’s word of the day, ‘vulva’. Most people think that the vagina is the primary sex organ in women and of course it’s not. You know the vagina is only part of the whole package that women like stimulated during sex and for a lot of women the vagina is not a key player in sex at all, right?
MICHELLE: Right, absolutely and I think…
DR. KLEIN: So that would make some more as word of the day, “clitoris’.
MICHELLE: So tomorrow we have to…okay, well that’s our show tomorrow.
TODD: We have to use it in a sentence.
MICHELLE: You have to use it in a sentence, well do that because those have been words that have been very difficult for me to say but once I started just to use them, it just… there’s no charge there. In fact I embrace them because its part of my sexual health.
DR. KLEIN: Terrific.
MICHELLE: So I thought maybe we can ask you a few questions. We’ve been asking women on the site if they could talk to you and ask that we could ask some questions for you that you can answer for them. So we have about 5 or 6 here and I want to start with some of them come on in there anonymous, which I find interesting that they’re okay with asking the question but they don’t necessarily want to have their names.
TODD: And Dr. Klein we’re an ask and share community so what that means is if a woman has a personal health question that she needs to ask, well she can ask anonymously on the site and we’ll do our best to get the answers and for women who have been through a personal health nightmare they can share.
And so these are the questions that got sent in to us that we would like to talk with you about.
DR. KLEIN: Okay.
MICHELLE: So the first one we have is, “What are the drugs that women can take to enhance their orgasms?”
DR. KLEIN: Well, lets say there is, the best drug to enhance a female orgasm is looking at a certificate of ownership of a Mercedes Benz, I find that that’s a, that tends to really get the blood flowing.
MICHELLE: Sure it does.
DR. KLEIN: Well there really are no drugs that reliably for all women increase orgasm. Some people like alcohol but it has to be only a little bit because you know, like Shakespeare said ‘Alcohol inflames the desire but dulls the ability’.
MICHELLE: Right.
DR. KLEIN: So for some women you know, a little bit of alcohol, they feel a little bit less inhibited and that allows them to feel the sexual feelings more and so they are more likely to have an orgasm but that doesn’t work for everybody and you have to really limit it because you know, after 16 or 17 drinks you’re not going to have an orgasm.
MICHELLE: No, that’s probably true.
DR. KLEIN: For some women they find that street drugs, recreational drugs enhance their expansive orgasm but of course those are illegal and they are of different strengths and you can get impurities in them and they certainly don’t work for everybody.
So what does that leave us with? Nothing, and every once in a while a woman will say me, “Oh, I took yohenbane and that did it”, or, “I took the AGA and that did it”, but there’s nothing reliable that works for all women and there’s nothing that we can really recommend.
What I say is that if women want to have strong orgasms they need to feel what’s going on in their bodies more because that’s where most of an orgasm takes place, right within our bodies. So if you want to feel your orgasm more that means that instead of thinking about the dirty dishes in the sink and instead of thinking about ‘gee, I hope my breasts aren’t too sloppy’, and ‘gee, I hope he is not getting bored or his hand isn’t getting tired’.
What that means is that you really just want to focus on the feelings, you want to breathe more deeply and you want to make sure that you don’t have a lot of tightness in your chest or in your throat or in your pelvis, you know, a lot of women when they are approaching orgasm they sort of tense up and actually what you want to do is the opposite. You want to relax and breathe deeply, slow down your breathing, let the energy flow through your body, rather than getting tensed up trying to squeeze out an orgasm.
And for most women I think that will be helpful, or you can visit me on the web at www.sexed.org, that’s S-E-X-E-D [dot] org.
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