Talking to your daughter about the changes taking place within her body and getting her period can be nerve-wracking for many mothers. It can also be an opportunity to connect with your daughter at one of the most basic levels of womanhood.
As you face this important female milestone together, here are a few helpful tips from our experts:
Update yourself on the facts. She has questions, and you need–and want–to have answers. It’s best to be a trusted, reliable source of information, and it may have been awhile since you’ve researched the latest information available. Whether your daughter has just started her period, or is getting to that age where you’re talking to her about it, spend a little time reacquainting yourself with some of the basic details of menstruation and the menstrual cycle so you are sharing accurate information. If you don’t have every answer, that’s OK. We live in an era of instant and abundant information–look up the answer together, or offer to make an appointment with her doctor.
Chat often and early. We all remember our first period (menarche). It can be unsettling, to say the least, the first time you discover you are bleeding “down there”. Add that to the general uncertainties, self-conscious tendencies, and fluctuating hormones of adolescence, and your daughter may have a mix of feelings, from embarrassment to curiosity, about getting her period.
Rather than wait until her first period and have one long talk, chat about the topic whenever the opportunity arises. Did one of her friends just get their period? Are you picking up feminine protection for yourself? Did they just cover the topic in health class? Did a character on her favorite TV show mention it? These are all opportunities to bring up the topic on your own and begin to familiarize her with menstruation. If your daughter is embarrassed to talk about it at first, that’s normal. She’ll still appreciate hearing from you and getting accurate information.
Help her understand feminine protection options. There are many options in period protection, and it’s important to familiarize your daughter with the different feminine protection options available to find one she is most comfortable with. Many girls start with sanitary napkins/pads, with more and more switching to tampons or menstrual cups as they become more comfortable with their bodies and menstruating.
While often a lesser known choice in feminine protection, menstrual cups can be worn for up to 12 hours and offer benefits for young athletes who don’t want to deal with a pad or a tampon string in the locker room, or for any girl who might feel uncomfortable changing a pad or tampon in a school bathroom, allowing her to start wearing it before leaving the house in the morning, without having to change it until she is home from school. As your daughter’s menstrual cycle may be unpredictable for the first several years, a soft, disposable menstrual cup can also be worn just before getting her period to avoid embarrassing moments.
Leave the door for discussion open. Girls who are well informed about any topic – including menstruation and their menstrual cycle – are more empowered to make better choices throughout their lives. Getting her period will be a big change in your daughter’s life, and she’s likely to continue to have questions over time. Let her know that she can ask you questions anytime, and every once in a while, bring up the topic to make sure she’s feeling comfortable with managing her period. Sometimes just asking one or two simple questions can open the door to some burning questions on her mind.
Mum’s the word. Your “little girl” is becoming a woman and you might be tempted to immediately share this milestone with your husband, girlfriends, mom or sisters. Your best bet is to keep your lips sealed. Some girls are more comfortable with getting their period than others, but the majority aren’t going to want Aunt Amy talking to them about their Aunt Flo. If your daughter sees that you’re protecting her privacy, she’s more likely to continue to choose you as her source of information and guidance, and confide in you about other things, as well.
Add a Comment2 Comments
I just read a great book about this very thing. It really broke down the process a young girls body goes through in the most creative way. I used it for a family member and she loved it. It really helped us jump start the conversation of what her period is, whats happening to her body and relayed how getting your period isnt a scary thing but a beautiful experience. The name of the book is Nikki's New Friend... From Little Girls, To Young Ladies and I found it on amazon.com, it was really affordable and a great tool.
http://www.amazon.com/Nikkis-Friend-Little-Ladies-ebook/dp/B008FC8JEE/ref=cm_cd_t_pb_i
July 24, 2012 - 6:06pmThis Comment
This was a very well written piece--with great advice! What's of benefit today for many parents is that they can 'break the ice' with lovely little 'goodie' boxes/packs sold by female-owned businesses focused on welcoming young ladies to womanhood/puberty. Now that young ladies too are getting their periods as young as the age of 7, it is increasingly important for moms (and dads, since there are single dads out there...) to be as comfortable as possible in talking about life changes. Menstruation isn't something that should be avoided or 'hidden' any longer. It's a biological certainty for all women, so maybe, we should instead celebrate this milestone! :)
May 4, 2011 - 11:21amThis Comment