Women can be high maintenance. We know it’s true. But, men can be complicated. That we know as well.
Most of the time, we know our guy loves us, but sometimes we just need to hear him say it.
When a couple begins to date, the male is usually all over her with loving words and compliments. The woman revels in the attention, even though the average man is generally thinking, "When are we having sex?"
As the relationship continues, women may notice that the compliments become fewer. A man doesn’t say the words “I love you” as often as he used to, which can sometimes cause trouble in the relationship.
What you have to remember is that a man’s brain is wired differently than a woman’s. It doesn’t mean he’s stopped loving you or was born with the emotions of an African tsetse fly, he just shows it differently.
So, if you’re looking for clues about whether your man really loves you, then read on. You might be pleasantly surprised.
• Look and Listen.
If you long to hear the words "I love you" loud and clear, listen for the clip of a staple gun or the buzz of a circular saw. Doing household chores or repairs is one way he shows his affection for you. Don’t miss the clue. Nothing says he loves you more clearly than a power tool.
• Come at it sideways.
Most men on this planet were raised to be strong and responsible. Displays of emotions were not encouraged. This traditional upbringing becomes ingrained a man and, thus, a very hard habit to break. Instead of coming right out and asking him if he loves you, come at it from a sneakier angle.
Ask if he remembers what you were wearing on your first date or what would be his ideal date night. His responses will reveal how he feels about you without saying the actual words.
• Do stuff together.
Researchers claim that men share their feelings more with activities that are fun and interesting for both of you. Playing golf, hiking, or watching a movie together brings on closeness and makes it easier for him to express his love in ways other than with words.
• Share Positive Emotions. Men don’t always understand subtle hints by women and may miss clues from the tone in your voice or your facial expression (unless you’re yelling, of course). So, try not to be upset when he doesn’t catch the sadness in your eyes. Instead, grab his attention by making him laugh or whispering sensual words into his ear.
Positive vibes from you will kick up his mood a notch. A man’s emotions are more likely to shut down in a negative environment. He’s more apt to show his loving side if he’s in a good mood.
Just because a man’s brain is wired differently than a woman’s doesn't mean he stopped loving you or that he was born with the emotions of an African tsetse fly.
So forget that sterotype. And forget this one too. All women are not high maintenance. A loving gesture, some sweet words, or a hug in the kitchen instead of the bedroom are really all we need ... almost.
WEBMD - Slideshow: 18 Secrets Guys Wish You Knew. Web. 19, February, 2012 http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/ss/slideshow-secrets-guys-wish-you-knew?ecd=wnl_day_021512
Live Science - 10 Things Every Woman Should Know About a Man's Brain. Web. 19, February, 2012
Reviewed February 20, 2012
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith
Add a Comment6 Comments
Thanks everybody for your comments. So glad I could help. I know this is a touchy subject to discuss in a relationship.
And thank you, Donna, you bring up a good point. If he's saying I love you, but MIA definitely sends up a "Red Flag". In other words, if he's not contributing to the relationship, it might be time to move on.
VonnieMarch 14, 2012 - 11:19am
Thanks Vonnie for writing this post. So many women are clueless when it comes to male communication. When we understand the hows and whys they don't come right out and say what they feel, it is better for us women.March 14, 2012 - 10:10am
When I counsel a client that is frustrated because her boyfriend hasn't said "I love you" there may be a hundred different circumstances! Mostly I find those words to men mean commitment. So it takes them a little longer to say.
Bottom line is that I find watching their repeated behavior is proof of the pudding. If he is caring, remembers things you have told him, is empathetic towards you, that has a lot of meaning.
On the other hand, If he says "I love you" and is always MIA...Red flag my friends.
Again, I liked the way you raised this subject. It is something that women need to share. I will certainly share this one on my social sites.
Thanks so much
Thank you all for loving this topic. Your insights are wonderful!February 24, 2012 - 8:38am
Hi Vonnie!February 24, 2012 - 8:03am
Thanks for this terrific post - it's so important we remember guys are wired differently. We can't expect them to be a 'hairy woman!' :D When we understand men for who they really are, we can find lots of evidence of how much they really love us - and how much they really want to make us happy.
This article came just at the right time for me; my partner and I are going to have a "talk" soon about the fact that I feel he doesn't show he cares. I think as women, we know all this, but sometimes forget and it helps to have a nudge to remind us that we're not perfect either. There's that great saying "just because a person doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they are". Best wishes to all the women out there reading this :)February 24, 2012 - 3:03am
It is so true that men and women have differently wired brains. It really comes down to the hormones fed to the brain in the first stages of life... A great resource on this is the "Male Brain" and the "Female Brain" by Louann Brizendine (check Amazon.com) and a topic I summarized some time back... a realm I have had interest in personally.
A short treatise I essayed on the differentiation between the male and female brains.... http://christenbustani.blogspot.com/2011/08/difference-between-mens-and-womens.html
My research stemmed from my own variance and found that my mom was given DES (prescribed at the time and banned around 1972... it's a form of estrogen). It can play havoc with normal hormonal male development so I personally became very interested in the subject.February 24, 2012 - 9:22am