AUDIO: Dr. Marty Klein - How Do I Tell My Partner He Should Be More Inventive Sexually?

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Dr. Marty Klein:
Hi, this is Dr. Marty Klein, EmpowHer sexuality expert. I bet you have a question about sex, and to ask me, all you have to do is click the "ask" button.

No sex or marriage question is too embarrassing because it’s time to ask EmpowHer’s sexuality expert, Dr. Mardi Klein, anything. Asking your questions is EmpowHer’s Founder and Chairman Michelle King Robson.

Michelle King Robson:
"How do I tell my partner he should be more inventive sexually?"

Dr. Marty Klein:
Well, I don’t think that’s accurate. I wouldn’t say that he should be more inventive; I would say that you’d like him to be more inventive. That’s about you, not about him. So you’d like him to be more inventive. Okay, well, that’s not unusual that one person would like that. Okay, so you would like him to be more inventive.

What exactly does that mean? Does that mean that you want him to come up with new ideas? Does that mean that you want him to initiate? Does that mean that you want him to talk more during sex? What exactly does that mean? So you would have to explain that. You would have to tell him a little bit more about what you want and why.

If you are afraid maybe that he is getting bored, well, that’s not such a good reason to urge him to be more inventive. If you are feeling kind of alone, if you are feeling unattractive because he doesn’t seem to have a lot of energy for coming up with new ideas or making things happen, why don’t you tell him that? Rather than just solve the problem by saying, “Here is the solution – you be more inventive,” why don’t you start with the problem or why don’t you start with a question or the real issue, which is how you feel?

You feel bored, you feel lonely, you feel old and unattractive, you feel like he is not really engaged, whatever it is, start with that and then have a conversation about that. And then the climax of that conversation may very well be, “Okay honey, so you or I maybe need to put a little bit more thought in to how to add a little variety to our sex life.”