Spicing Up Your Sex Life During the Holidays

By MC Kelby HERWriter

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Holiday sales, baking, traveling, and family holiday dinners can be stressful this time of year. The overcrowded malls and the kids nagging for expensive gifts can push the sanest person into the holiday expressway of anxiety.

Not to mention, for those who are single or recently lost a loved one, the holidays can be depressing. And, for those with a significant other, while the flurry of holiday activity increases, the bedroom activity may decrease.

So how do you balance the bedroom and the holiday activities?

According to leading sex expert, Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S, "the holidays provide a terrific opportunity to build and share emotional intimacy, express love, and truly be present with the person you care about the most."

Weiss also add that "getting busy" with your significant other has some great benefits like keeping off the extra holiday pounds and alleviating holiday anxiety.

Weiss offers these helpful hints to keeps sex alive during the holidays.

• Make a special date with your significant other.
If you are on a budget, how about a nice, hot bath or a cozy fire with some hot chocolate? Weiss recommends a hand or foot massage to spice up the evening. Don’t forget the candles and romantic music.

One of my favorites is a couple’s activity like seeing a movie or ice skating.

Recently, my husband and I took to the ice in Rockefeller Center and it was so romantic. When, we got home we decided to visit our local skating club for the weekly free skate. Not only was it a great date but we also had a great workout.

• Give the gift of sex.
Weiss recommends a special stocking stuffer for your significant other, perhaps a coupon or sex voucher for your significant other.

One of my girlfriends bought her husband his favorite brand of scotch and she attached an envelope with a sex voucher. Her husband loved the voucher, as well as the scotch.

• Spice it up!
While you are doing that late night wrapping, break out the bubbly and write your own naughty and nice list. Ask your significant other to write down three things they’ve always wanted to try in the bedroom but have never had the courage to ask for. Then you write down your answers.

Compare notes and after wrapping is complete, attempt one of the items from the list.

• Sex holiday shopping.
Hit the lingerie department with your significant other.

For those of you who are single, Weiss recommends the following DON’Ts:

• Don't have sex just because you're lonely or otherwise feeling bad about yourself.

• Don't get drunk at the office party (or any other social event).

• Don't seek out ex-lovers, ex-spouses, or old hookup partners during the holiday season.

If you are single or recently lost a loved one, do something special for you. Splurge on cashmere socks, or take that vacation you always dreamed about. The holidays isn’t about expensive gifts, it is about love, even self-love.

Sources:

"Holiday Sex Tips | Sex and Intimacy." Psych Central.com. Web. 13 Dec. 2013.
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/sex/2012/12/holiday-sex-tips

Weiss, Robet. "Love and Sex in the Digital Age." Psychology Today. 2 Dec. 2013. Web. 13 Dec. 2013.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201312/holiday-crazy-don-t-forget-about-sex

Reviewed December 13, 2013
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.