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Has It Been A While? Resuming Sex After Years of Abstinence

By HERWriter
 
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resuming sex after it's been awhile? MonkeyBusiness Images/PhotoSpin

Some older women are finding themselves back in the dating scene and developing romantic relationships. Riverside Doctors' Hospital wrote that some wonder if they have been abstinent for many years, is it too late to resume sexual activity?

Others ask about the risk of bleeding or pain when they resume sexual activity. And if these things could happen, is there anything they can do to stop or prevent it?

Rest assured that when a woman has been abstinent for some time, it is understandable to have concerns and anxiety when anticipating the return to sexual activity.

Mary M. Gallenberg, M.D. from the Mayo Clinic said that women can resume sexual activity at any point, as long as they are willing to invest some time and patience.

Intercourse should never be painful, so women should not proceed with sexual activity if they do not feel aroused and ready.

As women age, their vaginas and vaginal openings often become smaller and the vaginal lining becomes thinner, especially when estrogen levels are low. As a result, it can take longer for the vagina to swell and become lubricated during sexual arousal.

Experiencing these two changes can make sex painful for women who have been abstinent for extended periods of time.

There are ways to make sexual activity more comfortable. One way is to start with foreplay as it helps stimulate natural lubrication. Or try an over-the-counter lubricant. However if sex remains painful, ask your doctor about vaginal estrogen therapy.

Conjugated estrogens can be prescribed for women with these symptoms. These are available in oral form, but also come in intravaginal rings, suppositories and creams.

After a long period of abstinence, it may take time to stretch the vaginal tissues so that it can accommodate a penis. Women may want to experiment with new positions to find what feels best.

Women can also ask their doctor about a vaginal dilator. A vaginal dilator is a smooth plastic tube that can be used to gently stretch the vaginal tissues.

Your doctor may recommend placing the dilator in your vagina for several minutes at a time, several times a week. Or women may also choose to use a vibrator several times a week for the same effect.

And finally, do not forget to practice safe sex, especially with a new partner. It’s important to use a condom each time you have sex since there is no age limit for sexually transmitted diseases.

Sources:

"Could 6 years of abstinence have made sex very uncomfortable for me?" - Sexual Dysfunction Questions. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Dec. 2013.
http://www.everydayhealth.com/health-questions/sexual-dysfunction/could-6-years-of-abstinence-have-made-sex-very-uncomfortable-for-me

"Question & Answer." Sexual Intercourse After Abstinence. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Dec. 2013.
https://www.mylifestages.org/asktheexpert/QuestionAnswer.page?questionid=2319

"Sex after years of abstinence: OK to resume?" riversideonline.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Dec. 2013.
http://www.riversideonline.com/health_reference/Senior-Health/AN00951.cfm

"Sexual health." Mayo Clinic. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, 6 Nov. 2010. Web. 11 Dec. 2013.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sex/AN00951

Reviewed December 12, 2013
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I met a lady who is 17 years older than I; I am 57. She insisted getting it on between her and I. After our first encounter, I bought a Vaginal Lubricant because she was dry. However, even after using the Lubricant, she still complained my member was too hard and she felt hurt. So far she and I had 5 sexual intercourses, and I am learning as we go. Now that your article gave me some new ideas, I am going to try to make our experiences to make it more pleasurable to each of us. I too have been abstinent for some years and I need to get used the felling of a vagina. I shall use your advice and apply it as best as I can to make my partner feel as best as she can in my company. Best Regards, Steve

May 27, 2016 - 10:30pm
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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