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Skimming the Table of Contents in the new book, "Healthy Sex Drive, Healthy You: What Your Libido Reveals About Your Life" by Diana Hoppe, MD, I was immediately impressed by its comprehensive nature. From explaining the definition of libido, to exploring potential aphrodisiacs, to outlining common women’s health challenges, Hoppe covers a lot of ground. By balancing specific scientific explanations with advice and anecdotes, Hoppe ensures her book is not only accessible, but also interesting to many women. She strives to present a tool for women, not an encyclopedia of medical terminology and not a Cosmopolitan Magazine article, but rather a combination of the two: lesser-known scientific information and methods for applying it to everyday life, presented in a playful but professional tone. The result is a beautiful compromise, and a book I definitely recommend.
Though it encompasses a number of diverse topics, the main point of Hoppe’s book is clear; a woman’s sexual activity is an important part of her life and health, and maintaining the libido you desire is one part biology and nine parts attitude. Using scientific studies, her experience as a doctor and accounts by other women, she demonstrates that the brain is an absolutely integral member of a woman’s sexual organs, and therefore, thoughtful communication – with yourself, a partner and your doctor – is essential to a healthy sex drive. This in mind, Hoppe writes to stimulate her readers’ minds, requiring them to reflect on their lives with questions at the end of each chapter and constantly presenting information in new ways. She keeps the text interesting by sprinkling it with “FAQ” boxes, side-notes and periodic (often humorous) quotes. I especially appreciated her use of lists to offer straightforward advice and explanations.
Although Hoppe wrote this book to appeal to a large audience of women, the main criticism I have of her text is the narrow interpretation of women’s sexuality. She focuses on heterosexual partnerships and “traditional” gender stereotypes, failing to address homosexuality, transgender or transsexual individuals and single women. She doesn’t account for the hugely diverse preferences and personalities of women, instead making gender a simplified dichotomy: men want sex more than women; women are more emotional than men, etc. I’m sure Hoppe’s tendency towards mainstream interpretations of gender/sexuality was partly due to space limitations, but still – an open mind and more inclusive understanding of relationships are absolutely crucial for writers, researchers and doctors in the field of sexual health.
This oversight doesn’t mean the book isn’t a wealth of information anyone can find useful. My favorite chapter was on aphrodisiacs and food! Stay tuned for part 2 of my book review, where I’ll highlight some of the most interesting things I learned. And of course – don’t take my word for it – find a copy of the book yourself and share your opinion here!
Add a Comment5 Comments
hi again hannah!
i took your advices and it was kinda fun, experimenting and stuff, it did work,we just had sex last night and the night before... i talk to him and told him everything i feel... now we're trying to have our intimacy scheduled... but i also did tell him that i prefer more of the surprise sex and unplanned ones... it makes me more exciting and more interested with what's he's gonna do.. now im being more open to him on how i wanted it to be done... he was also glad with the things i said to him, we're both enjoying each other now, hope it wont fade.. i'll get back to you for more updates for you to cope up how you advices worked out with me ^^,
thanks again!!
August 20, 2010 - 7:49amThis Comment
Hi SaintSinner,
You should definitely not feel "abnormal" for enjoying or wanting to have sex!! It is a beautiful natural instinct, and generally very good for your mind and body. Unfortunately, because libido is truly the mental part of sex (desire), if your husband has always had a lower sex drive, it might be difficult to completely change the way his head works or re-wire him for a stronger libido. It is quite common for people to have different libido level's than their partner, but there is no reason you can't each have your needs met regardless.
I would say communication is always the first step! Have you told him what you want/need in bed? Could you have a conversation about how often each of you would ideally like to have sex? In her book, Dr. Hoppe recommends scheduling time together, specifically to have sex. Maybe try something new and adventurous in bed - keep things interesting and exciting for both of you.
And most importantly, don't forget how important and healthy it is to experiment with self stimulation. If your husband is satisfied with your current sex life but you crave more, invite yourself on a sex date and make self-pleasure part of your routine. Not only will it familiarize you with what exactly feels the best, but it may also inspire your husband to play along.
Please let me know if you have other questions! Or if this helps! Thanks for your comments!!
(And check out my next book review article on Dr. Hoppe's section about aphrodisiacs...) :)
August 20, 2010 - 4:52amThis Comment
kinda interesting i wish it was more informative... more explana..
anyways is there a tendency that women has more sex drive than a man or her partner?
kinda curious... ^^,
August 16, 2010 - 7:20amThis Comment
Hey SaintSinner -
Check out this link for a more informative review of the book: https://www.empowher.com/sexual-well-being/content/hot-read-healthy-sex-drive-healthy-you-review
And to answer your question, there is certainly a potential for women to have a higher sex drive than a man or her partner. Because women's hormones fluctuate throughout their menstrual cycles, you can find yourself with an especially high libido at certain points in the month. Furthermore, at different stages of life, women can have greater sex drives - for example, around the time of menopause, some women experience a high libido.
Of course, some women are just more sex motivated than others! If this is you, enjoy! And make sure you are communicating with your partner well, so that both of you are feeling safe, satisfied and sexy.
Please reply back with your thoughts!
August 17, 2010 - 11:56amThis Comment
hi hannah! thanks for the info, i really appreciate it.. now i understand ,more of myself... i was wondering why i was so active to sex, some time of the month i get this feeling of being so sexually hot or active, and i thougt it was some kind of abnormality that i have, because im more active than my husband and it kinda freaks me out whenever i wanna have sex with him eventhough we just had each other...
thanks again! i hope my husband would be more active like me so that i wouldn't have to keep on asking him to have sex with me everytime i want to..
any suggestions on how i can make him more active? ^^,
God bless.. Peace!
August 18, 2010 - 8:45amThis Comment