A healthy sex life is often a big part of a strong relationship. However sometimes couples experience problems in their sex lives and turn to sex therapists.
After identifying the couple's attitudes about sex and sexual problems, said WebMD, the sex therapist recommends specific exercises to refocus the couple's attention and expectations.
Here are some tips for a good sex life from sex therapists.
Dr. Laura Berman told Oprah.com that couples need to keep gender differences in mind when striving for a good sex life. Men take an average of 5 to 10 minutes to reach orgasm, while women need about 15 to 20 minutes.
Boston University Medical Center added women get aroused by words and touch while men often get aroused by what they see such as erotic pictures, magazines and videos.
Good communication is the key to great sex, said Psychology Today. Provide feedback to your partner in the form of verbal and non-verbal communication.
Be in the moment during sexual activity, wrote Psychology Today. If you are thinking about work, the house, kids, or your body's shortcomings, you aren’t present with what is happening in the moment.
In Oprah.com, Dr. Berman said the biggest mistake she sees couples make is expecting sex to happen spontaneously. She advised making an appointment with one another — it's more fun than it sounds.
"It's kind of like this anticipation of this time you know you're going to have together," she said.
Innovation is the spice of life. Psychology Today recommended altering your regular sexual positions. Talk about your fantasies and if mutually agreed upon, act them out. Take the time to explore each other's bodies in a sensuous and erotic manner.
Start loving your body. The better you feel about your genitals, the more your sex life will improve.
"What we have found in the research is that women who have positive genital self-image, who feel good about their genitals and comfortable with their genitals, are six times more likely to have sexual satisfaction than women who are not," Dr. Berman told Oprah.com.
Sex therapists often use what are called "sensate focus" exercises to treat sexual problems wrote WebMD. The exercises start with nonsexual touching and encourage both partners to express how they like to be touched.
The goal is to help both partners understand how to recognize and communicate their preferences.
Overall, realize a good sex life takes work. "It takes effort. It takes connection, and it takes learning what your partner's language of love is," Dr. Berman said to Oprah.com.
“Learn what makes you feel loved; what makes you feel cared for. And love your partner that way and you'll see the changes that happen in your relationship."
Sources:
"Female Sexual Problems." WebMD - Better information. Better health. N.p., n.d. Web. 30 Aug. 2012.
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/guide/sex-therapy-counseling
Health Benefits of Sex - Oprah.com." Oprah Winfrey's Official Website - Live Your Best Life - Oprah.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 30 Aug. 2012.
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Secrets-of-Sex-Therapy-How-to-Improve-Your-Sex-Life/2
"More Tips from a Sex Therapist. » Sexual Medicine » BUMC." Boston University Medical Campus. N.p., n.d. Web. 30 Aug. 2012.
http://www.bumc.bu.edu/sexualmedicine/patientinformation-sextherapist/more-tips-from-a-sex-therapist
Pollets, Dan. "Six Tips For Great Sex | Psychology Today." Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist. N.p., n.d. Web. 30 Aug. 2012.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mindful-sex/200807/six-tips-great-sex
"Sex Therapy Exercises - Oprah.com." Oprah Winfrey's Official Website - Live Your Best Life - Oprah.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 30 Aug. 2012.
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Sex-Therapy-Exercises
Reviewed August 30, 2012
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith