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I want to live in a world that’s filthy with organic farms, mom & pop bookstores, and artsy cafes.
When I’m not creating humorous content (that often contains four-letter words) you can find me re-reading the collected works of Chelsea Handler, Paul Jarvis, sampling obscene amounts of chocolate without a trace of shame, and optimistically checking out my window to see if UPS has delivered my latest Amazon present.
How I became a wellness rebel
At 17 years old I was told I had precancerous cells, cells that normally and statistically turn into cancer. After that diagnosis I was pretty much told this (rephrased in my own words) “But hey now, there’s no need to get your panties in a bunch, you’re a young, healthy girl, we’re confident your body will naturally expel these cells. Chin up girlfriend!” Fast forward to six years later where I sat in a different doctor’s office, with yet more not so cheery news “At this point we recommend you consider a hysterectomy to prevent this from turning into cancer” whattttt the fuck????? What happened to my body naturally expelling them?
In those six years I had bi-yearly invasive and painful procedures, countless biopsies, and one surgery. All in an attempt to eradicate these cells that were suppose to naturally expel on their own. One problem, my body wasn’t getting the freaking memo. I didn’t know it at the time but my healing receptors were jammed packed! My immune system was overworked, and my liver could not keep up with the countless, shitty habits I was putting it through.
That health crisis is what threw me down the holistic health rabbit hole. In 2012 with the diagnosis that a hysterectomy was my ONLY option, that was THE moment for me. You know the one I’m talking about. The one where you promise everyone and their mother that you’ll change. That moment was my wake up call. The kick in the ass that I needed to put down the doritos and take control of my health. So I made a declaration: I would give myself ONE year to transform my health. To do everything on God’s green earth to heal all on my own. And if I failed, then at the completion of that one year I would have the hysterectomy.
In the months that followed I had a fire lit under my ass that was soooo hot, I almost needed a cream for it. I had a long ways to go and lots to learn. See I grew up on the standard American diet (SAD), fast, processed, and greasy “food”. As a kid my snacks were a donut and a can of coke (score!). My favorite meal consisted of a bacon cheeseburger, fries, chili and chicken nuggets, all in one sitting cuz this is America, I don’t have to choose, I can have it all. All the greasiness, chemical concoctions that I desired.
Throughout my own healing journey I had discovered a new passion for all things health and wellness related. I’d learned so much, I had experienced the health shift, and at the end of my one year journey, I had done what seven years worth of doctors couldn’t do for me: I had given myself a clean bill of health.
After experiencing first hand the power of holistic health, I was hooked! You couldn’t get me off that wellness train no matter how many milky way bars you promised me. So I took the next step in my path: I became a health coach. I have a desire, a passion, a NEED to guide others in achieving the same that I had done for myself. My mission in life is to educate and support my fellow man in taking control of their health, achieving balance in all aspects of their lives, and becoming happy and healthy wellness rebels.
Nowadays I spend my time coaching others, attending fitness expos, trying to see how many licks it truly takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop, and cooking up healthified meals that rock and don’t suck.
