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My concern is just what my body has to go through — again. My first and third surgeries were done vaginally. The other two, and the upcoming one, involve pretty major abdominal incisions. This probably constitutes the primary part of my recovery.
I have an extremely high pain threshold and do recover quickly because I am in pretty good shape. (However, the escalated exercise plan I had hoped to put in place before this surgery never quite happened….)
I almost feel like I disappoint friends who want to "take care of me." I definitely need help the first couple of weeks but I rarely need the full six weeks that is recommended. After the last surgery, I didn’t even need pain medication — until the third day when a nerve that had been nicked during the surgery flared up. Then I was in immense pain for almost two weeks. I thought I had a fire going on in my groin.
I told Dr. Berek when I left the hospital, “If it wasn’t for this nerve, I think I could go out and play a game of basketball.” He said — I think I did that on purpose to keep you down.
It’s hard for me to let others help me and wait on me — after all, isn’t that being “dramatic?”
Plus, I’m self-employed. I have clients that are waiting for their work to get done. I have to get better — quickly. Thank goodness I have great employees that can keep things going until I can get back to work. Last time people were laughing that I was texting the day after my surgery.
Of course, I also worry about my daughter. She takes this so hard. I’ve told her, no long faces, but she needs an outlet to express her fears, too. She is 26 and her dad is not involved in her life, so it has been just me and her for a long time (Of course, plus the “Village” of caring friends and community).
Erika has some developmental disabilities and lives “almost” on her own. She lives in her own place, with a caregiver to help her. She has a lot of people who care for her and love her.
So after the finances, the recovery time and Erika, I have to admit that it is in the back of my mind — what will the future bring? Will this keep coming back? Will it eventually come back more aggressively? But that is something I truly don’t dwell on. After all, who has time?
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