Of all the reasons or causes for couples to divorce and go their separate ways, a lack of intimacy is one of the most common causes of the breakdown of a marriage. Some couples are able to salvage their marriage because they do genuinely care for each other, but other couples are not so lucky. A marriage takes a lot of work and devotion, two things that become more difficult as the marriage becomes older. Both people change as they live more life and career, for example, can often get in the way without either person involved in the marriage realizes the impact the focus on career is having on the marriage.
Why is intimacy so very important in a marriage? For a marriage to work, a certain level of bonding between the spouses is necessary. A couple needs time to communicate, to spend some quality time together and to have time to keep up to date on each other’s lives and accomplishments. Keeping in touch with each other helps to strengthen the bond between them and keep their marriage going. Couples who start to focus more on their own lives and start leaving their spouse in the dark often leads to a breakdown of the bond between the couple. This is where one or both of the spouses can feel neglected and ignored by the other, which in many cases has led to extramarital affairs and/or the breakdown of the marriage. If a couple in the marriage are feeling as if they and their spouse are growing apart, but they want the marriage to succeed, this is when it might be time to seek help from a couple’s therapist, otherwise known as a marriage online counselor. It is always better to seek help sooner than later because the less chance there is for the couple to grow apart before they correct any issues they might be going through, the more chance there is that the issues can be dealt with and the marriage can be saved.
A couple who want their marriage to work can consult an online therapist and get suggestions and advice through counseling online. Online therapy can help the couple think about why they are great together and what they can do to renew the spark that seems to have disappeared over the years. The therapy can go as far as help the couple to remember why they are great together and why they want their marriage to work. There are so many marriages that end in divorce that probably could have been saved if the couple had consulted a therapist or counselor for help. If lack of intimacy is the main problem that is causing a couple to think about divorce, some therapy could be the answer. The therapist can work with the couple to figure out new ways to get to know each other all over again and how they can renew the love they still have for each other. Sometimes new suggestions and some helpful advice from an impartial party, such as a therapist, can help a couple rekindle the passion they have lost in order to strengthen their bond and interest in each other.
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Add a Comment5 Comments
My husband has had a troubled childhood where he witnessed his father abuse his mother. His Mom never left his father, but still to this day won't give the father the time of day, even now that the abuse has stopped. This is where I believe my Husbands lack of physical touching comes from. He won't kiss me, hug me, hold my hand, touch my hair . . nothing. he has not so much as brushed by me in a month. Then out of the blue he wants sex. (which just makes me feel like a pin cushion because there is no kissing, fondling . . nothing just sex). I give in to the sex because at least he is some what touching me again, and not cheating on me. But I am miserable, lonely, just to name a few emotions. How do I get my extremely stuborn husband to seek counseling or start any kind of intimacy that is not straight sex.
October 20, 2010 - 9:28amThis Comment
Great comment nitsnitz. As you develop you go from an individual to a couple to a parent. A lot of times, when you become a parent you lose the couple and individual part. It is so important to remain a couple and remain an individual. I know easier said than done but it is vital to who you are and how you can keep your relationship strong.
Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte, DMFT
August 25, 2009 - 7:14amThis Comment
Maintaining the level of intimacy that exists in the beginning of a relationship can prove challenging and, worse, the loss of intimacy can be a major source of stress and difficulty in marriage. So many couples find themselves in this position, especially as life gets more complicated with home ownership, children, and careers. It's so important at this point to find a way to reclaim intimacy. If it was there in the beginning, it's possible to get it back. Licensed couples therapists suggest that couple first need to recognize the importance of intimacy in marriage and set an intention to reclaim it and strengthen it. We grow as people, as couples, and as families, and intimacy has to grow as well. This is the bond that started it all and it's ultimately the bond that will keep it together.
July 28, 2009 - 2:24amThis Comment
Hey alision:
Don't agree with your assessment, lack of intimacy can be the problem and other things can come up from that or visa versa. It is important to check in with your partner at all times and make sure the lines of communication are open to avoid trouble in your relationship on any front.
Jennifer
May 17, 2009 - 1:02pmThis Comment
I had always heard that a couple facing the problem of "lack of intimacy" is usually a sign that other "things" in the marriage are out-of-balance. Lack of intimacy, therefore, is not a cause itself, but a symptom of other problems.
Can you speak to this?
thanks!
September 7, 2008 - 1:53pmThis Comment