I recently found out my husband has been watching gay porn on the internet. He was at one point chatting with gay men talking about wanting to have sex with them. When I confronted him about it he said that it was just a phase that he was going though and that he is over it now. Before finding out about this it had been over a year since we had sex, sine our child was born. Now I see that he is downloading porn from the net again this time women. I try to keep our sex regular but if we miss having sex one day he will find time alone so that he could jack off. My question is am I the problem or is he a porn addict?
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I’m so heart broken right now and I don’t know what to do. I been with my boyfriend for over 9 years he is my high school sweet heart. We recently moved in together (about 8 month ago). I just found out that he been sending nude pictures of himself and myself to numerous girls and guys talking all sexualy to them. It was so hard seen all does message it kills me inside knowing that he Invaded our privacy to random people. What hurt me more is the conversation he has with numerous guys (really sexually talk) what he would want to do with them.i confronted him about it but he Swears he is not gay or bisexual cry begging me to forget him that he doesn’t know why he did it.It’s so hard Because I can’t even talk to nobody about it.....it’s eating me inside to even think he might be gay. How can I go forward with this if everybody think we the perfect most cute couple.
March 18, 2018 - 3:02pmThis Comment
Hello.
It doesn't matter if people think you are the perfect/cute couple. These people don't know what has been going on. The fact is, he is sorry because he got caught. He would likely still be reaching out to these people otherwise. He had no right to send nude pictures of you to anyone. That in itself is bad enough. He is either gay or bisexual, that seems obvious. He needs to face his own truth. You have some hard decisions to make. The only thing I can say is to do what is best for you. Not him. Life is too short to settle, to be unhappy.
best,
March 18, 2018 - 4:02pmHelena
This Comment
Please help me my heart is broken and I am so glad I found this site. The stories sound so familiar my husband whom I love with all my heart is either gay or bisexual. I have caught him 3 times now the first was arranging a threesome he said he was never going to follow through with now its the gay chatting with men like you said very sexual and planning to meet but says now that caught for the third time and now I am finding more on credit card site and porn. He says now he thinks he may be bisexual he don't know curious and exploring, but he loves me. The trust is so gone as he continues to Lie, he says now he wants to have a honest discussion. But what is honest ?? Please Please help me do I just let him go he said he has never followed through but how long until he does. He says he stopping and cant back on again. Any anwer would be appreciated.
July 31, 2015 - 9:38amThis Comment
Hello,
July 31, 2015 - 3:23pmIt's such a hard thing what you are going through! I think you need to have the open discussion, find out how he feels sexually. Has he ever been with a man? You mentioned he loves you and he probably does, but if you stay with him you will always be wondering if he is still talking to men or organising things. The best thing to do right now is be strong, be honest and open it will hurt but just get it all out. Sorry I probably don't have much to say but I remember when I went through something very similar it was nice to just get a reply so that your not alone. Be strong!
This Comment
In need of help... My husband is bisexual but will not allow that thought into his head. I understand that that feeling is something that con not be controlled or changed. My husband came from a very abusive and issued life. His mom and sister prostitute themselves. I have found over the past several years him following Craigslist and chatting with other men about needing a generous man..mostly when times get hard on us. I have tried over and over again different approaches to approach him... Anger, sympathetic, undrrstamding, ext. To only be lied to.. Its not me... Idk what ur seeing but I didn't do it... Emails and such do not lie. Its all in the paper trail. Idk what to do. I am extremely unhappy. I know the best would be to just move on... But I have 3 children and all young where I feel its not best to just move on as I also need his help. I am the only one working and he pays rent?! I can not afford to have my own place and have applied to state help but can not. I also don't like when we happen to stay out of town with family for the night how my kids cry for their daddy.... Although he doesn't do much but play video games all day long when he does have them. We never spend time as a family. He is always sleeping during the day while kids and I go out... But as said again.. The days I work he is there to pick up from school and watch during the day on weekend. I just want him to admit to what we both know is true... Maybe then he will stop hiding in this front he has..
June 6, 2015 - 5:31pmThis Comment
The same exact thing is happening to me and I'm completely miserable! I know how you feel. I don't know if you're still in this situation but you're in my thoughts!!!
January 6, 2016 - 11:10pmThis Comment
I have never responded on this site, however i am so glad to have found this. I have been married going on 5 yrs this November. I thought i married my best friend and soul mate! We have a 3 yr old son together. I have found last year that My husband has been going onto Craig's List and checking on the men seeking men page. When confronted about of course he denied it and told me i was crazy. My husband is what you would call a man's man! Very macho in areas. So for this to be found out is scary for him.I tried to believe him, but i could not push it out of my mind. We went to counseling and he made it seem like i was being insecure. I found text on his phone that were completely inappropriate. Things that he would never say to me. Its like his inner sexy comes out with men. We have not had sex in over a year, however he wants people to think we do. I feel betrayed and confused!!!! He has changed and become extremely MEAN AND RUDE! He is only affectionate towards our son. I just feel lost and have no where to turn! Advice needed
March 22, 2015 - 12:59amThis Comment
I went out on a chance on Google to type in what has been going on with my relationship and this page came up, I've caught my partner numerous times now talking to other men on dating sites, asking to meet up and to be descrete because he has a partner. I asked him about it and he just says that he can't help doing it it's like he is addicted, I honestly don't get it! He is such a manly man, I don't no how to ask him more about it, Im scared to ask him about it more. We are engaged and Im so worried that he is hiding something. I don't want him to marry me because he thinks it's what he should do. He always says he will never do it again but I've caught him over and over again and i just can't walk away. I need help too! Is he just addicted or does he like men, we don't have sex that often and when we do he never does foreplay or is very Romantic about it, it's pretty rough so is he thinking about someone else. I'm so confused! :(
April 25, 2015 - 6:00amThis Comment
If he is watching gay porn chances are that he is either bisexual or could be undercover or thinking about exploring. You need to understand that some people consider it to be okay being outside the box but will not call themselves gay or bisexuals even if they have tendencies to desire someone of the same gender. Unfortunately for you being with this person makes It alot harder because they are pretty much doing it in your presents and you are married and have a child. You should feel betrayed I dont blame you at all but you need to ask yourself was their any little things that you ignored in the beginning. Sometimes the writing is on the wall in front of us and we choose to ignore it . Do your research sit down and have an honest cconversation with him because you need to know and then you can decide what you Trulywant to do. Good luck to you.
April 25, 2015 - 5:45amThis Comment
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July 27, 2012 - 10:50amThis Comment