Today was decision day. We finally have some answers on the spinal surgery! This morning we met the famous thorasic surgeon, Dr. Dickman from Barrows Neurological Institute that would be performing the surgery. He at first was ambivalent on if we should move ahead with with the surgery. His thinking was that if I had only 6-12 months to live, then it didn’t really serve a great purpose to do the surgery when a good couple of months of the time would be in recovery.
He explained that the surgery is extremely painful and there are some risks. In order to make a definite decision, he wanted me to do another CT scan.
A CT scan was ordered STAT and I was in and out in no time. A couple of hours had passed by at this point and it was no early afternoon. Dr. Dickman returned saying that he was now confident that we should move forward with surgery. Delaying the surgery could cause paralysis in the lower body. The surgery they are performing is Thoracotomy, corpectomy, screw plate fixation and allograft fusion. The reason for the surgery is because of the spinal cord compression and the tumor growth. Basically what I gather this all means is that they are going to cut into my chest, remove a piece of rib, then do a tumor “debulking” or cutting out of the piece of the tumor (if they can), then inputting a cadaver bone inside my vertebrae with some pins, bolts, and other hardware.
Then they close me back up with several tubes hanging out to get rid of extra fluids. The surgery is 4-5 hours and I will be in ICU for 1-3 days. I will have to wear a really tight back brace for at least a couple of weeks. The surgery will be around 1pm.. I am really scared because the surgery is supposed to be extremely painful…or at least the recovery is. I will have a local anesthetic drip for 3 days just where they cut into my chest. This is in addition to the pain meds that they will be giving me. The major portion of the recovery is about 4 weeks or so and I will be continuing mild recovery for several months. This means that I won’t be doing any sort of activity during these months…what am I going to do with myself? I am going to have to find some alternative avenues besides exercise and breathing to keep my stress levels down.
Another concern of mine is that with this surgery, we have to push any chemo or radiation back another month (at a minimum). So we are going to hopefully get rid of or shrink the largest tumor I have and fix the damage on the T8 vertebrae; however we will not be addressing any other parts of the cancer until a later date. I still have cancer on two other parts of my vertebrae, which could lead to another similar procedure down the road. In addition, I’ve got cancer in my long bones, pelvis, and scapula! I am praying that these are growing at a REALLY slow rate and the time that passes won’t affect them too much and cause anymore unwanted detours to the treatment. If we can just get through the surgery, onto radiation and then start the second cycle of treatment, then I can breathe!
Some of the risks of the surgery include: spinal fluid leakage, spinal instability or deformity, chronic back pain, blood vessel injury, bone healing problems, need for blood transfusion, pneumonia, allergic reactions, nerve injury, etc etc. The chance of paralysis is 5%, and the chance of death is 1%. In order to “prepare” for surgery, they will have some sort of “umbrella” injected into my leg to help “catch” any blood clots that try to migrate to the lung.
In addition, I will have tons of blood work to do tomorrow and fasting tomorrow night The good news is that despite all of this, I have been thinking ahead. I will most likely be in the hospital for the next 3-4 weeks. I have GOT TO get a pedicure! I made a call to my favorite place on Lincoln and the owner, who has also become a friend agreed to meet me at St. Joes tomorrow am to give me a fresh manicure and pedicure! I figure, if I am going to feel like crap, I might as well do whatever I can to make myself feel and look better ahead of time. =)
My sister Lisa is leaving tomorrow night and my best friend Christine will be here tomorrow morning. My dad and stepmother apparently are leaving tomorrow am to drive here for the surgery. I am a little stressed out about having all of these people here, but I guess more support is better than none. Lisa has been great so far in helping me this past week get through some of these difficult decisions.
Today, we spoke with a chaplain regarding the “do not resusitate” paper, living will stuff, and new terminology that my oncologist wrote up as an addendum to the declaration of living will.
All of this death paperwork is really stressful as well. There are so many things to consider that are not just black and white. It is really more than just feeding tubes and ventilators, especially when it comes to a “terminal” illness such as cancer. There are all sorts of caviats that one wouldn’t normally think of. I am just beginning to grasp all of the information on various options for death and reading horrifying ways that one actually physically dies. My head was completely spinning this afternoon when we were talking with the chaplain. We left the conversation with the understanding that I did not need to sign any of the “do not resusitate” forms until my condition is declared “terminal” or there are two doctors confirming that the end result is death.
After all of this heavy information today, I am so glad to hang with some girlfriends here tonight at the hospital and watch dancing with the stars and eating pizza. I REALLY wish I could have a stiff drink right about now! My brain is on overload