Compared with other women suffering from PPD, some might think my case was mild. However, I have come to know that PPD can come in many different forms and intensities. Here is my story.
Changes, Changes Everywhere
I moved to the KC area from the Phoenix area with my husband in Aug. 2005; I was pregnant at the time and lost the baby due to a spontaneous miscarriage the week after we moved (I was 13 weeks), and had gone to my sister’s OB/GYN as a new patient for a well visit. I went through a very dark phase following the D&C, which thankfully took place the morning after I found out the baby was gone. I did not allow myself adequate grieving, and didn’t participate in any kind of therapy or support group—in hindsight, I should have and I probably should have been on medication at that time.
Thrilled and Terrified
I found out we were pregnant again in Jan. ‘06, and was thrilled and terrified at the same time. I don’t think I ever completely relaxed during the pregnancy, although I did breathe a sign of relief when I felt those first kicks. The kicks were very reassuring the baby was strong throughout the pregnancy. I also had stronger morning sickness, and heartburn, among other typical symptoms. The pregnancy went as planned, despite being labeled high-risk by my doctor given my age and gynecological history. I was induced the day after my due date, on Sept. 20, and ended up having to get a c-section because the baby wouldn’t drop after 14 hours of labor. Our son, Luke Brian was born shortly after midnight on Sept. 21st. I remember “Kyrie” by Mister Mr. was playing on the radio in the operating room.
The Brewing Storm
Luke was a pretty easy baby (or so I heard from other mothers), and we adjusted relatively well. My husband seemed to take to parenting like a fish to water. I had mild feelings of resentment. It was only the beginning of what was in store for me.
Christine Jeffries is a writer/editor for work and at heart, and lives in a home of testosterone with her husband and two sons. Christine is interested in women’s health and promoting strong women.