Yeah! Today is the first day that I have not been sick to my stomach!
I actually ate today and was able to keep food down! Last night my back started hurting..in a new place. It literally felt like someone had dislocated my shoulderblade. I thought I had possibly fractured my back again from throwing up the day before. I called my care manager and she told me to go to CTCA to get some xrays done. Kelly drove me last night to CTCA and we had bloodwork and xrays completed. The radiologist didn’t find any new fractures thankfully! My red blood cell counts were down and the doc was thinking I may need a blood transfusion. He asked me to come back today for more blood work, and if the counts were still low then we would move forward with my third blood transfusion. When I returned to CTCA today, the counts were back to normal! My back is still hurting in that strange spot… Even 8 mg of dilaudid isn’t really helping. I will have to keep an eye on this one and possibly get it checked again next week.
Unfortunately, today Gina and I missed Kim’s funeral. We were both bummed, but it just seemed that all odds were against us going today. I wasn’t feeling that great this morning and took forever to pull myself together. Meanwhile, Gina had a really high blood pressure and she needed to take care of that before going anywhere. Kim’s family wrote a nice note on her blog and there is a link to an article the AZ Republic did www.kimfightscancer.blogspot.com. I feel so bad for her poor husband and children. This is only the beginning of the pain they will feel. At least Kim is in a better place and now out of pain herself.
Tomorrow is Gina’s last day here at CTCA. I’ll miss having my buddy around the hospital. She could always put a smile on my face. I finally picked her up from CTCA after I had the blood work completed and she came with me to get my hair done. This will most likely be the last time I have my hair cut and colored before I have to shave it off. My hair is really thinning now, and if I didn’t have the wedding this weekend I would probably have shaved it this weekend and shopped for some wigs. My hair looks so stupid because it is so thin in the front where my bangs are excepts for a few wispy pieces that hang over my brow.
I have recently received a good amount of emails from people that have stumbled across my blog or website. It feels good to know that people are reading and it actually is affecting them. The intention of the blog really wasn’t originally meant to do this, but as the page views grew, I knew that this could be something much bigger and better…something that could educate, inform, and maybe even bring others together. There just has to be some sort of good that comes from this Cancer. It is such a nasty disease…I hate it! I hate what it does to people! I hate the fact that there isn’t a cure in many cases and there is no “cause”. I really hope that in my lifetime they find some sort of cure for this. It is absolutely amazing how many lives are effected by cancer. Practically everyone knows sometime who has been touched by it. I experienced it at a young age with my mother. She passed away from a brain tumor way before her time. I’m not sure how old she was, but must have been in her 40s. I don’t remember a lot from that period of my life, but I do remember key moments. I remember brushing her hair one day and a large clump fell out in my hands. That scared me, as I was not prepared to see something like that. I was a freshman in high school when she was diagnosed. I remember going to the hospital to visit her the day before she died. She looked so thin, pale and sick. At that point, she wasn’t coherent and didn’t know who we were. That was a memorable and sad day. Despite the fact that she was still alive, she looked like death had taken over and her soul was gone. I can’t imagine what she went through trying to do chemo, radiation, and raise 3 children. This was over 10 years ago when the drugs and technology weren’t nearly sophisticated as they are today. She must have been in so much pain. She probably also felt alone. One thing is for sure, at CTCA patients tend to be drawn to each other and are able to form their own support groups. In a way it is nice to have others around that are going through similar experiences. On the other hand, it is scary and horrible to hear when one of the members is not doing well and maybe close to death. The staff at CTCA have a tough job of working with patients and saving lives and other times not. Because it is still small, the staff really gets to know all of the patients…beyond just a doctor/patient relationship.
Tomorrow, Wes and I leave for California for my Cousin’s wedding. The drive is less than 5 hours and we are taking his Tahoe, so getting there shouldn’t be that bad. I am praying that I will be feeling even better tomorrow and ready to handle all of the commotion of the wedding events. I am in the bridal party and so happy that I will be able to celebrate this special time with my cousin and her family. It will also be good to get out of this heat in AZ and have a vacation. I know we both need it!