A happy person can light up a room. An angry person can rile others around her. A sad person can stop a conversation cold. And now we know that loneliness can be contagious, too.
A federal study has found that a lonely person’s feelings can be spread – not only to friends and family they are in direct contact with, but also to people those friends or family touch. It spreads almost like a flu or cold virus.
"Loneliness can be transmitted," John T. Cacioppo, a University of Chicago psychologist who led the study, told the Washington Post. "Loneliness is not just the property of an individual. It can be transmitted across people – even people you don't have direct contact with.
"We detected an extraordinary pattern of contagion that leads people to be moved to the edge of the social network when they become lonely," he told the Reuters News Service.
Before losing their friends, lonely people transmit feelings of loneliness to their remaining friends, who also become lonely.
"On the periphery people have fewer friends, yet their loneliness leads them to losing the few ties they have left," Cacioppo said.
"These reinforcing effects mean that our social fabric can fray at the edges, like a yarn that comes loose at the end of a crocheted sweater," Cacioppo added.
The study is being published in the December issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Because loneliness is associated with mental and physical diseases that can shorten life, Cacioppo told Reuters it is important for people to recognize loneliness and help those affected before they move away to the edges.
More from the Post:
"No man is an island," said Nicholas A. Christakis, a professor of medicine and medical sociology at Harvard Medical School who helped conduct the research. "Something so personal as a person's emotions can have a collective existence and affect the vast fabric of humanity."
So why is this important?
Because feelings of isolation or loneliness have been linked to other medical issues such as depression, sleep problems and overall poor health.
"Loneliness is more than just feeling bad," said Chris Segrin, a professor of communication and health at the University of Arizona, who was not involved in the research. "It really does have consequences."
We all know what it’s like to feel lonely. Sad song lyrics speak loudly to us. The day is harder to get through. We may have no one to talk to, and even if we do, we may not feel understood. Perhaps we are lonely due to a physical cause, such as chronic illness. Maybe we lost a job, or have retired and find ourselves at loose ends. Or perhaps we are active in our world but feeling isolated within. Either way, we can be transmitting that emotion to others.
"When you feel lonely, you have more negative interactions than non-lonely people," Cacioppo, told USA Today. "If you're in a more negative mood, you're more likely to interact with someone else in a more negative way, and that person is more likely to interact in a negative way."
More from the USA Today story:
“The researchers found that next-door neighbors who experienced an increase of one day of loneliness a week prompted an increase in loneliness among neighbors who were close friends.
"You can use your friends to get you out of negative moods, whereas when you feel more isolated, you act more negatively toward your friends," he says.
“The study also found that women were more likely than men to report "catching" loneliness and that the chances of becoming lonely were more likely to be caused by changes in their friendship networks rather than among family.”
This study, like the recent, similar research on happiness, is based on data from a study of 5,124 people in Framingham, Mass., average age 64. Over a period of years, they completed questionnaires asking how many days during the previous week they experienced a particular feeling.
If you recognize that you are lonely, what can you do?
Well, the obvious is obvious: Reach out to others. Even though it can be a really hard thing to do. Some ideas:
If you have a close friend whom you’ve brushed aside lately, try to reconnect. Go ahead and explain what’s been going on. It’s OK if you feel vulnerable; a good friend will understand and help.
If you are isolated in your home, try to get out, even if it’s difficult. Go to a library or a coffee shop just to be among people. Make yourself run one errand a day.
If you feel alone at work, practice giving someone a smile or a heartfelt “Hey, how are you?” in the hallway. It may feel fake at first, but that won’t last for long.
If you know you need to make connections, think about becoming a volunteer. You can choose something that carries meaning for you – perhaps it’s working with animals, or volunteering in a campaign office, or taking groceries to an elderly neighbor. It can be small. And it may be hard at first, but if you force yourself to do it, it will soon become more natural. And you may find yourself making new friends who share this common interest.
Try journaling. Write out your feelings in a notebook that you keep for just this reason. This helps enormously when you feel no one is listening, no one is available or when you’re just not willing to confide in someone.
Change your environment. Play music. Dress in a way that makes you feel confident. If you normally go out for lunch by yourself at work, try taking your lunch and sitting with co-workers. Sit outside on your front porch at night with a glass of wine and greet neighbors as they walk their dogs. Whatever you do, focus on making connections. They all add up.
The Washington Post story:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/30/AR2009113003846.html
The Reuters story:
http://www.reuters.com/article/latestCrisis/idUSSP384701
The USA Today story:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-12-01-loneliness01_ST_N.htm