On my way home from picking up some burritos for dinner I heard a wonderful story on the radio. A local fireman was struggling with his wife’s cancer, three children including a new baby, medical bills, etc. and was pretty much at the end of his resources. He had used all his savings, vacation, and sick time and was about to lose his home and car.
The other guys at his fire station started a fund-raising drive and enlisted the station to which I was listening. They had just completed a drive-up donation campaign in a local parking lot and raised, I’m not kidding, $40,000! Plus another $15,000 in mailed-in contributions! Zowie! That’s got to feel pretty good for everyone; the organizers as well as the donors.
There was a story on this morning’s news about a mentally-challenged man who mowed lawns to make some money. He saved and purchased a fancy power-mower all by himself and he was very proud (rightfully so) of what he had done. Then the new mower was stolen and he was devastated. The news got out and some strangers stepped up to the plate and bought him a new one. What a rush that must have been for them!
I was recently at a breast cancer symposium and met one of the doctors who helped develop the drug that has halted the spread of my wife’s brain tumors. I’m convinced that this drug has saved her life. As luck would have it, she called me while I was thanking him; when I told her who I had just met she wanted to talk to him and I handed him the phone. As he listened, his face lit up and just before he handed the phone back to me I heard him say, “You just made my day.” Chris later told me that it “made her day” to “make his day.”
Here’s the point: a good way to cope is to do something to help someone else. When you do, a couple of things happen. First, it takes your mind off of your own problems for a while and it’s always nice to take a short “vacation” from your worries.
Second, it’s hard not to feel good when you’ve helped someone else feel good. You know how good it feels when someone does something special for you; imagine how good it will feel to know that you inspired that feeling in someone else.
What about cost? Donating to the fireman’s fund could have cost you as little as a dollar if that’s all you had to spare. Buying a power mower, well, that was expensive but if you have the means, why not?? And thanking the doctor who helped save your life … “priceless.”
You can accomplish this mission as easily as complimenting a stranger in the market on their shoes or hair. Chris does it all the time; she once complimented an elderly lady on her beautiful hair and the woman practically floated out of the store!
Think about all of the opportunities you have every day to do something like that. Try it just once to see how it feels; I guarantee you’ll go back for more.
This article is one in a series on coping strategies for patients and caregivers alike. For more thoughts on caregiving, coping strategies, reducing stress, and just plain fun subscribe to my free monthly newsletter at http://www.CaringAndCoping.com Need a speaker for an upcoming event? I have a program that will knock your socks off! Watch video clips at http://www.ThePPP.org/speaking/#handle