My question is a mix of two common questions I have seen asked: Why isn’t my boyfriend attracted to me anymore, and why can’t I orgasm?
To begin with, my bf and I have been together for just over two years. And for that entire time (and way before him) I have had problems finishing during sex. He and I came up with a work around by involving a vibe- it was supposed to be a short term fix that has lasted long term. Also, when we first started dating (and until about 2 months ago) he couldn’t keep his hands off of me. Just changing in front of him would guarantee sex. Now, I’m lucky if he can peel his eyes off of the TV or computer screen for more than 3 seconds to check me out. Does time cause the attraction to lessen?
To top the above, we have also stopped having sex. When I pressed him, he finally admitted that it wasn’t me, but he didn’t see the point since he couldn’t get me off. We’ve had this fight before, where I try to remind him that it is normal for women to need more, and we give it another shot, reading up and trying EVERYTHING we can to get me there. But in the end, it takes the vibe.
I feel completely unattractive, and like a failure because I can’t give him what he needs (the satisfaction of getting me off)… I love him, and can’t picture my life without him, but I also don’t want to have a sexless relationship at my age (25). Is there a way to help him get that it isn’t him, it’s me? Or, more importantly, get me there, without outside help?
PS- Yes, I’ve tried the standards- doggy, cowgirl, and reverse cowgirl, with no luck.