Been in therapy for 10 months. Depression symptoms have been up and down but a lot of other stuff going on too -- marriage issues, business failing, chronic health problems (breast cancer) -- that make it worse at times. I have considered suicide frequently as a way out, my therapist knows this, I hide nothing from her. Now she is refusing to work with me unless I agree to take antidepressants which I've avoided all this time because I just don't feel right about taking medications of any kind, let alone antidepressants. I'm not sure how I feel about being given an ultimatum: am I feeling rejection? Abandonment? Worthless and awful because my own therapist won't work with me unless I'm medicated?? Not sure what to do or how to think about this......