On Friday, Dec. 3, 2010, friends and family gathered to celebrate Melissa Waller’s 33rd birthday. Between tears and laughter they paid tribute to a courageous young woman who died on Thanksgiving Day from lung cancer.
The statistics tell us this is possible, but it still seems unreal. Waller, a fit, athletic, seemingly healthy young woman was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer at the age of 31.
In her own words, here’s what she faced. “In early February 2009, I was diagnosed with stage 4 Adenocarcinoma (non small cell lung cancer). It is an extremely deadly disease and there is no cure. The cancer has metastasized to my bones, so at this point radiation and an operation is not an option to kill the tumors, they can only be used for palliative care. I will be going through Chemo over the next months in hopes that we can stop the spread of the cancer and maybe even send it to remission.”
Melissa shared her story freely in the hopes of helping others and can be found on EmpowHER
as well as her personal blog.
Titled, “The Spirited Warrior,” the blog describes her as someone “who doesn’t let obstacles define her: She reinvents the rules.” Indeed, that’s exactly what she did.
Through nearly two years of treatment, with full knowledge that her cancer was terminal, Waller made the most out of every single day. She never sugar-coated what she was experiencing, but she also didn’t milk it for sympathy. The ups and downs of rigorous chemotherapy and the toll treatments took on her body didn’t daunt her spirit, it caused her to reflect on the many gifts friends and family and life had given her and to reach for more.
Waller’s lifelong wish was to travel to New Zealand - a benefactor made that dream come true in March 2010. The advance preparations and medical emergency arrangements alone would have intimidated many people, but they weren’t obstacles for Waller, just part of a to-do list so she could savor the beaches and other highlights. http://www.themelissawaller.com/2010/03/beaches/
Throughout her treatment process Waller shared her experiences through her blog, Facebook page, media interviews, public appearances and in other ways. In doing so, she gave a vital voice to patients who are often ignored even though lung cancer is the number one cause of death from cancer each year in both men and women. Overall, lung cancer affects men more than women, but that gap is closing.
When she returned from her trip to New Zealand, Waller blogged about how people treated her. " I was thinking about the trip today and chuckled to myself because whenever I asked someone at the airport for assistance with my bags they always asked me suspiciously who the help was for. When I would reiterate that I was the one needing help because I have lung cancer they immediately looked at me with sympathetic and confused eyes. I actually get a kick out of people’s reactions when I tell them I have cancer. Usually the first thing they ask is if I smoke followed by some sort of question of how I got cancer and how long I’ve had it. It’s really annoying when people ask ignorant questions like that. It just goes to show that there is not enough education regarding this horrific disease. I joke with people saying that if they knew how we got cancer, there probably would be a cure."
"Sometimes when I start telling people about the types of things that I’ve gone through over the past year and a half, their eyes glaze over. I have to remember that most people don’t understand the verbiage and lingo related to cancer. It’s also hard for others sometimes to comprehend what I’ve gone through. I guess thats why lately I have been feeling an urge to get my story and face out there. There are so many stereotypes to cancer and I am the last person that someone would expect getting it."
Waller was from the Seattle area and worked in Phoenix, where she received her medical care. She was adamant that she did not want a funeral service upon her death, and asked her family to instead hold a celebration of her life, which took place on her birthday. She was cremated and her ashes will be spread this summer at Lake Chelan, Washington, where she spent her summers as a child with her family and friends.
Another of her final wishes was for others to support the effort to combat lung cancer. Waller researched many organizations, and the one she strongly felt best helped advance research to find a cure is LUNGevity, which can be found at www.lungevity.org/
Lung cancer is typically viewed as a “man’s” disease, but it’s not. According to LUNGevity, it accounts for about one in four cancer deaths among women, killing more women each year than breast, uterine and ovarian cancers combined. In 1987 lung cancer surpassed breast cancer as the number one cancer killer of women. Today, more than 20 years later, there is still no established protocol for the early detection of lung cancer. Consequently, approximately 31,000 more women died of lung cancer than breast cancer in 2009.
This bears repeating. Lung cancer is the leading cancer killer in both men and women in the United States. In 1987, it surpassed breast cancer to become the leading cause of cancer deaths in women.
Melissa Waller influenced many people during her short life, demonstrating how a “spirited warrior” stares down a terminal illness and grabs every single minute of life possible. She would want others to do the same. If her story has moved you, please take the time to educate yourself about lung cancer, and share the information with those you love. When she was diagnosed, Waller said, “I am still the same fireball and tend to give this my all.” She would want you to do the same.
Resources: Women and Lung Cancer
LUNGevity:
www.lungevity.org/
Cancer.net:
http://www.cancer.net/patient/All+About+Cancer/Cancer.Net+Feature+Articles/Cancer+Screening+and+Prevention/Women+and+Lung+Cancer
LungCancer.org:
http://www.lungcancer.org/reading/about.php
About.com:
http://lungcancer.about.com/od/whatislungcancer/a/lungcancerwomen.htm
American Lung Association:
http://www.lungusa.org/stop-smoking/about-smoking/facts-figures/women-and-tobacco-use.html
http://www.lungusa.org/lung-disease/lung-cancer/