Body image affects every area of life, and there is immense pressure on teenage girls to conform to an unrealistic, unattainable standard of beauty. The recent influx of “Pro-Ana” websites designed to encourage excessive dieting and “Am I Ugly?”
YouTube videos have left many parents feeling terrified about the effect societal messages are having on their daughters.
While you can’t lock your daughter in a cave to protect her from the dangerous messages society offers, there are many things you can do to counteract the negative images your daughter sees in the media and to encourage healthy body image.
Limit Media Consumption
In an era of constant media interruptions, it can be difficult to limit your child’s media consumption, but the rewards are well worth the effort. Studies have shown that the more commercials a child sees, the worse she feels about her physical appearance. Similarly, most teenagers report feeling dramatically worse about themselves after paging through a women’s magazine.
Place limits on the amount of television your daughter watches, and consider using a DVR to record programs so that the commercials — which are typically the most damaging portion of television in terms of self-esteem — can easily be skipped.
Model Positive Body Image
Children pick up on subtle messages conveyed by their parents, even if the parents never verbalize them. While you may have insecurities of your own in regard to your body, it’s vitally important that you don’t convey these to your child. Avoid criticizing yourself or obsessing over a new diet in front of her. Both of these practices normalize negative body image and can teach inappropriate lessons about the importance of appearance to your child.
Don’t Emphasize Being Pretty
Many parents, in an attempt to improve their children’s body image, frequently tell them that they’re pretty. While there’s no harm in occasionally paying your daughter a compliment, numerous studies have indicated that girls are complimented on their looks far more than anything else. As a result, they learn that their primary value springs from their physical appearance.
For every time you say, “What a pretty dress!” or “You look beautiful!” try to compliment your daughter on her inner beauty at least twice. When girls feel that they have something of worth to offer other than their appearance, they are far less likely to struggle with body image.
Spend Time Together
Teenagers who spend time doing fun activities with their parents have higher self-esteem and are more likely to turn to their parents if they struggle with eating disorders. Find an activity both you and your daughter can enjoy doing on a regular basis. A word of caution: some mothers get trapped in a cycle of dieting or going to aerobics classes with their daughters, but this way of spending time together is profoundly damaging to teens, so avoid it.
What Not to Do
Some common parenting practices are especially damaging to children’s body image and can contribute to the development of eating disorders, body dysmorphic disorder, and other body image issues. Here are a few guidelines:
• Don’t encourage your child to diet to lose weight. Instead, if your child is eating unhealthy foods or needs to become more active, emphasize health and becoming healthy as a family.
• Don’t comment on other people’s appearance, and you should avoid commenting on the appearance of your daughter’s peers in particular.
• Never call your daughter fat or insult her appearance. Avoid telling her, “You really need to do something with your hair” and making other comments insinuating that some part of her physical presentation is lacking.
• Avoid encouraging young children to play with makeup and hair supplies. While this play may seem harmless, it conveys the message that the most important thing about being a woman is looking pretty.
If, despite your best efforts, your daughter continues to struggle with body image, get help from a qualified mental health professional. The longer you wait to undo the damage of low self-esteem, the worse the damage becomes.
Sources:
Costin, C. (2007). The eating disorders sourcebook: A comprehensive guide to the causes, treatments and prevention of eating disorders. Maidenhead: McGraw-Hill.
Harwood, R., Miller, S. A., & Vasta, R. (2008). Child psychology: Development in a changing society. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.
Edited by Jody Smith