A lot of people have misconceptions about sex that prevent them from really enjoying it. A lot of other people have misconceptions about sex that allow them to really enjoy it, but prevent them from being really safe about it.
The following are some misconceptions about sex that may prevent you from enjoying it:
• Your body must be perfect.
This could not be more of a misconception. When it comes to sex, beauty truly is in the eye of beholder. One of the most liberating things for many people has been to go to bed with a partner who thinks they are not only attractive, but gorgeous, and who can’t even imagine why they would ever feel insecure about their chest, thighs, backside, etc.
Being with someone who lusts after you whether you’re a 90-pounder or a 290-pounder can be one of the most pleasurable, empowering and validating experiences imaginable.
• Your technique must be flawless.
This is a huge, albeit often under-discussed, area of myth and insecurity for everyone. So many of us think that if we aren’t Don or Donna Juan in the boudoir we will come across as total losers, and we deprive ourselves of some pretty wonderful experiences.
Usually, people who want to have intimate pleasure are more than willing to explain, explore, talk, show, demonstrate things to you that will make them feel good. You are also free to demonstrate, move a partner’s hand up or down, whisper “more” or “too much there.”
In fact, people have actually been known to fumble and laugh in bed. Fancy that.
• You must be madly, hopelessly in love.
Well, while many of us grow up imagining this would be the perfect way to make love, in reality you can still have respectful, loving, warm and deeply erotic sexual activity without being in love at all.
As long as both parties are consenting adults, safe and sane, there is no reason not to engage in the frolic of your life without getting married or buying a home together. Having safe fun is a wonderful part of the human experience, and one of the only deeply intimate experiences left to us.
Here are some common misconceptions about sex that may prevent you from being as safe as you could be in bed:
• You can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex/while on your period/if he comes just NEAR your vagina.
Many a babe has been born of a mommy and daddy who thought this way. Of course Sex Ed these days attempts to teach kids that you can get pregnant at any time of the month, during any time of your cycle, and that pulling out does not always work because there is pre-ejaculate that can still get you pregnant.
So let’s use birth control each and every single time we have intercourse and not be caught in a situation we either don’t want to handle or literally cannot handle.
• STDs can’t be passed on the first time we have sex/if my partner is asymptomatic.
Again, using a condom is crucial to protect against STDs whether it’s the first or the millionth time you’ve had sex. STDs can also be passed when a partner appears to be asymptomatic so for everyone’s health and safety, condoms are important.
Sources:
Withdrawal (Pull-Out Method). Planned Parenthood
Retrieved from the internet on March 18, 2012
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/withdrawal-pull-out-method-4218.htm
List of STD’s That May Not Show Symptoms By Rachel Mork. MyLife123
Retrieved from the internet on March 18, 2012
http://www.life123.com/health/womens-health/stds/list-of-stds.shtml
Aimee Boyle is a regular contributor to EmpowHER
Reviewed March 22, 2012
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith