Are you single and sick of it? Tired of sharing other people’s Kodak moments instead of making your own?
Here’s a five point plan to help you get noticed!
1. Love yourself.
If you don’t, why should anyone else? If you think you’re not good enough, not worthy enough, not attractive enough to find love, then your attitude towards yourself will show to any potential suitors and put them off. Say to yourself "I love myself. I am a wonderful woman and I deserve love." Repeat this every day.
Another way you can love yourself is to make sure you have plenty of hobbies so that you aren’t just sitting at home when you come in from work, waiting for Mr. Right to show up.
Treat yourself regularly with trips to the hair salon. Get your nails done. If your wardrobe’s a bit drab, buy yourself something that makes you feel amazing. This will raise your confidence so that you will believe you have things to offer in a relationship.
2. Remember first impressions can stay with you for a lifetime.
A potential partner may make the decision to talk to you or not based entirely on his first impression of you. This may sound a bit superficial but unfortunately it’s true. Women are used to dressing up to go on a date, but what if you meet your future husband at the drugstore?
You should always dress nicely and have your hair done nicely wherever you go so that you will always have the "wow" factor whenever men look at you. This doesn’t mean dressing up to the nines or piling layers of makeup on, just making sure you always look smart.
3. Look at people!
It may surprise you, but according to British scientists, people only look at each other 30-60 percent of the time when talking to each other. If you want to draw a potential partner into your life, look directly into their eyes when you talk to them.
Eye contact is a basic animal instinct that stimulates the brain with messages to either approach or retreat, depending on the circumstances. When you look at somebody intently, their body produces chemicals like phenylethylamine which produces the sensation of being in love.
This may not sound very romantic, but a lot of the "in love" feelings we have are actually chemically and biologically induced. So if you want a man to fall in love with you, look at him intensely when you speak to him. This may be the first step to igniting positive feelings about you.
4. If you see someone you like, make the first move.
There is this idea that the man must always make the first move but this isn’t true. Research into relationships has shown that women make the first move in two-thirds of all encounters.
If you want him to come over and talk to you, try smiling at him. You could either give him a broad and confident smile or a little one and then look away, or you could keep gazing at him. All three techniques have been found to be effective at getting a man to interact with you.
Some women also flip their hair or show a bit of exposed neck. He may think he has made the first move in approaching you but you in fact lured him in with your body language.
5. After the first "hello," keep the conversation flowing.
The first conversation is crucial. If your potential love loses interest in the first conversation, he is unlikely to want to see you again.
Keep looking at his face. If he is losing interest, he will start looking away. The eyes are the first part of the body to leave the conversation. Is his face flat or bored looking or does he have a sparkle in his eye? You can normally tell whether someone is enjoying the conversation just by their body signals.
If you can’t think of what to say and there’s an embarrassing pause in conversation, ask him a question about himself. This will draw him back into the discussion and allow it to keep flowing. Keep it upbeat and positive.
Absolute No-no’s:
Don’t complain about your job, talk about arguments with relatives, illnesses or your ex! These topics are turn-offs, particularly for a first conversation.
Sources:
How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You, Leil Lowndes. Thorsons, London (1997). ISBN no. 0-7225-3470-1.
60 Ways to Make Your Life Amazing. Lynda Field. Vermilion (2001). ISBN no. 0091902096.
Reviewed July 9, 2012
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith