As a health advocate, I believe healing from any serious illness has to include healing of both body and spirit. Helping hands from loving friends can go a long way in both of these things. So if you have a friend or relative who is sick or recovering at home, don’t waste time wishing there was something you could do to help. A little planning on your part can make a big difference.
I believe that real healing begins at home. Whether your friend is recovering from surgery or going through chemo or radiation, it is important to remember that just because he or she is home doesn’t mean she is well. Don’t expect her to have time or energy to entertain you.
Also remember that each person heals at a different pace and has different needs during the healing process. Some people need attention while others need time alone to process what is happening, make decisions and focus on getting well. So don’t expect your friend to focus on you or to respond to every phone call or text.
I recommend starting with caution when you decide to get involved. Don’t charge in assuming your help will be wanted or even helpful! Stick your toe in the water to feel out what your friend needs. That way you can really be of service to her.
I believe there are three main areas you can help with when someone is recovering at home:
1. Food – Many times people who are recovering don’t have the energy to prepare their own meals. You can help make sure nutritious foods are on hand that are easy to prepare. Start by checking to see if your friend has any food restrictions, or if certain things just don’t taste or smell good right now. Then prepare items that are easy to store, reheat and serve. Casseroles divided into meal-size containers are a good option that can easily be frozen and reheated.
And don’t think you need to take on the task of providing three meals a day all by yourself. Your friend probably has other people like you who wish they knew how to help. Once you identify them, you can set up a system so everyone can take a turn providing a meal. If you choose to just provide one meal a week on your own, your help will be greatly appreciated.
2. Errands – Even if your friend is up to moving around the house, she may not be up to the effort of driving to the store much less doing her own shopping. Before you head out to run your own errands, call to see if there is anything she needs while you are out. A simple offer to pick up prescriptions, stock the refrigerator or buy dog food can be a big help.
3. Prayer – I believe there is no such thing as too much prayer. You can help organize a prayer chain to include as many friends and family as possible to pray for strength and healing.
If all this scheduling of other people seems overwhelming, don’t worry. There are some wonderful websites available that are designed to make it easier than ever to help others. SignUpGenius.com is a free website that can help you make lists of what you need, invite others to help out and create a schedule for visits, calls or even text messages to say “thinking of you.”
There are also websites like CaringBridge.org that can help keep everyone informed about how your friend is doing. Your friend can chose who she wants to post updates on how she is feeling, what the doctors say, how treatments are going and whatever other news she wants to share. Caring Bridge also has a support planner to organize helpers.
Just because your friend is well enough to go home doesn’t mean she is ready to take on the world or even take care of herself. So don’t think she is done needing help just because she got to go home. Just remember that this time of healing has to be about her. Making yourself available to help in whatever way she finds most useful is a simple way you can help her regain strength and strengthen your bond as friends at the same time.