My name is Dr. Deborah Hecker, and I am very pleased to be a participant on the first ever HER Radio show with Dr. Pam Peeke and Michelle Robson.
Some background information: For the past 35 years I have been in private practice as a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, with a specialization in helping people to re-partner. Having done extensive research in the areas of attachment, loss, and identity formation, these concepts play an integral role in my clinical work helping people to successfully re-partner. In addition, I was the past President and co-founder of Prime Choices – A Women’s Center For Mid-Life Development, whose mission was to assist women, from an integrative perspective, to navigate their midlife transitions.
Several months ago I published a book entitled “Who Am I Without My Partner? Post-Divorce Healing and Rediscovering Your SELF.” Incorporating well-established theories about how individuals rebuild their identities after the breakup of their marriages, the book addresses the three step healing process.
In addition to discussing my book during the radio program I look forward to debunking the commonly held misconception that a great relationship is based on finding your other half, something I refer to as the “you complete me” syndrome. The “we” that you and your potential partner form is simply one part of equation, which looks something like this:
“I” + “You” + “We” = Healthy Relationship
I am a strong believer that the collapse of a relationship is really a wake-up call for us as individuals. People’s relationships fall apart for identifiable reasons. In order to re-partner successfully, there are some necessary steps one must take; primarily, to shift the blame for the relationship failure from their partner to a healthy focus on their own contribution. With greater insights, new behaviors can be learned and the new relationship model can be implemented.
I look forward to sharing my insights with you as well as hearing your feedback and answering any questions you may have.