If anyone thinks caregiving is easy, they’ve never been a caregiver. It’s not always a burden, of course. It can bring families closer together, and can provide a chance to give back to a loved one.
Many aspects are rewarding. But it’s also fair to say that caregiving has its fair share of challenges, and can be draining on even those who receive lots of support. Fortunately, there are ways to take away the negative thoughts, to make life easier, even when times are tough.
1) Take Care of You First
When listening to instructions before a flight takes off, we’re told to put our own oxygen masks on first if there is an emergency, before we help children or the elderly. The reason for this is that if we aren’t OK, then those who are depending on us won’t be either, and a dangerous domino effect will happen.
This is also true about caregiving. So make (and take) the time to get plenty of sleep, exercise and eat well.
Caregiving can be physically quite draining. The more sleep you get, and the more exercise you take — even when you don’t feel like it — the stronger you’re going to be. This “me time” should be considered a part of your own routine, not as some sort of treat.
Exercise is a great stress reliever and is instrumental in feeling positive about yourself. Organize this time off, even just an hour a day, when other family members can take up the slack, or take the time away in a room in your home to exercise to a DVD and get a little relaxation time in, too.
Have lunch or drinks with friends. Meet friends when your loved one is in therapy or having a treatment done. If getting out is hard, have friends bring a little something over, and you can have a get-together without leaving the house. Laughing and socializing with good friends will put you in a positive mindset straightaway.
2) Talk About It
Don’t be afraid to talk about the hardships. Verbalizing feelings of fatigue, frustration and fear is a good thing. Always make a point of doing your best to talk away from the patient.
It’s important to choose a trusted friend or relative for something like this, and even better if they’ve experiencing the same thing. They say a problem shared is a problem halved, and certainly unloading your burdens to a sympathetic ear can bring great relief.
Caring.com is a wonderful website that will give you a myriad of information about many different illnesses and conditions your loved one may have. Whether it's Alzheimer’s disease, stroke, cancer or heart health, or some other condition, information is available, and so is help for caregivers in all sort of situations, whether they be live-in, nursing home, full-time, parent or spousal care.
This site is great for round-the-clock support. You may also be able to find in-person support groups from this site via the online forums. This can be a good way to find others who relate to you. Be wary of groups that are constant complainers. While everyone needs to vent, make sure your group is positive.
It’s also good to check with the patient's’ medical team for a group nearby so you can get face time with those who know what caregiving is like firsthand. Sometimes they're the only ones who actually get it, and it's really good not to feel alone.
3) Create a Go-to Handbook for Your Caregiving
Being practical is very positive! Every caregiver needs to feel like they can lean on someone or something. If you don’t always have someone to reach out to, a go-to manual of your loved one's needs can be enormously helpful.
This manual should contain all your loved one’s medical contacts — doctors, nurses, physical therapists and home help. A list of medications, how to dispense them, and pharmacy contacts should also be listed.
The CareGivers Library has other vital suggestions for a handy manual. They recommend the following information for your files:
Housing
Money and Insurance
Physical and Emotional Health
Planning and Assessment
Record Keeping and Legal Matters
End of Life Issues
Having all these details in one book can give an enormous amount of relief to the caregiver, the patient and other people involved in the patient's’ care. Not only can it allow a smooth flow for the caregiver thus lessening stress, it can also allow the caregiver to take some time off, knowing everything is organized at home.
4) Take Time Off
While it’s not always possible for all people, taking time away is a great way to stay positive while caregiving. Take a weekend away, or a week off, a few times a year if you can.
There is absolutely no need to feel guilty about this. Respite care is great for your loved one, and will be a change for them, too. Time off will allow you to recharge your batteries and to remind you that you still have a full life, despite so much caregiving.
Because caregivers often work and may be taking care of their own children too, being part of the so-called "sandwich generation," it’s easy to become negative simply because of being overwhelmed. Have a support network around you, make your need for some time off known, and make sure siblings are also helping in one form or another if you are caring for a parent.
Negativity can make you ill, physically and mentally. So its opposite — positivity — can help to keep you motivated to get up every day and start afresh. Putting yourself first when you need it is a gift both to you and the person you care for. Don’t forget that the caregiver needs care, too.
Sources:
Caring.com. Web. Retrieved Nov 10th, 2015.
https://www.caring.com/support-groups
CareGiversLibrary.org. Checklists and Forms. Web. Retrieved Nov 10th, 2015.
http://www.caregiverslibrary.org/caregivers-resources/grp-checklists-for...
Reviewed November 11, 2015
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith