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He is From Mars. Call Someone From Venus! Busy Woman’s Guide to Stress Management

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Did you know calling your female friend to talk about your problems may be good for your heart as well as your marriage?

Men and women deal with stress differently. Women process their stress by talking about it. Often we cannot reach a solution or “let it go” until we’ve discussed a problem…thoroughly.

Men, however, usually don’t need to talk about it. In fact, they want to get away from it and decompress. They talk when it is time for solutions and action. He wants to leave the problem at the office, at the office. If you keep bringing it up, his stress level never goes down.

So, here’s the thing. When you expect the man in your life to deal with stress like you do, it increases his stress level — and yours, which isn’t good for your heart. Stress can increase your risk of heart disease. Learning to reduce your stress is essential.

Studies have shown women who maintain positive relationships with other women are less stressed and 30 percent less likely to develop heart disease. Talking with your gal pal can reduce your risk of a heart attack!

How long has it been since you had a girls’ night out? Sure it is good to call your gal pal when you NEED to talk about something but what about just getting out and talking about what is going on in your life?

I recently spent a great evening with a long-time friend and two new friends. One of them remarked,

“There is wife time and mom time. This is just me time. This is different.
I need more of this.”

Yes, you do need “me time” — and some time with women who support and nurture you. Taking time for a girls’ night out, coffee with a friend or even a walk and chat isn’t selfish (try hard to escape the mom guilts). It is essential to living longer, feeling better and stressing less.

How are you nurturing those important women in your life? Who is your Super Ball?

Get more valuable information in Eliz’s new book, The Busy Woman’s Guide to a Healthy Heart, or in her award-winning blog.

Add a Comment4 Comments

EmpowHER Guest

My hubby is far too jealous to "allow" me to hang out with my gal pals, so I don't often enjoy time away from him. He's too self-centered and thinks my world should revolve around him. I'd hate to admit how old I am - enough to be your mother! The only way I have a social life of my own is through my few activities in which he takes no interest. When we go to dinner with the family (he gets drunk and too embarrassing to go with friends), he has to be the center of attention, or he'll be on his cell phone trying to attract attention. He doesn't seem to understand just how obnoxious and rude that is.

I don't think it's a generational difference, more an individual difference. Frankly, it's hard to believe we've managed to stay married as long as we have! But, you can bet your booty that I'm expected to let him go off to do what he wants.

Selfish, isn't it!

July 20, 2009 - 5:24pm
(reply to Anonymous)

How have you stay married to him?

July 21, 2009 - 9:39am
(reply to Anonymous)

I feel for you! My DH is from another planet, further out than Mars, I think, LOL!

It just goes to show that some mothers - and I don't know if this is a generational difference, either - didn't raise their sons at all well.

I'm sure the time you do get to enjoy with your own friends or social group is very precious, indeed.

July 20, 2009 - 5:27pm

You are so right -- our girlfriend relationships are so important, and yet I don't know why it is that when my daily life juggle gets really crazy, girlfriend time is usually the first to go. It's easy to prioritize the kids' and husband's needs, but that all-essential "me" time can easily get shoved to the bottom of the list. It's good to see reminders, like your article, every now and again to remember how important it is to nurture ourselves.

July 20, 2009 - 9:42am
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.


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