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There exists what I’d like to call the PHFBP, or the professional, high-functioning bipolar patient.
When looking at the PHFBP, it would appear that he faces few problems. He is compliant in his treatment. He is successful in his job; he may be married and have children; he has friends, and in essence, he is happy. For the therapist, this patient might be called "the model patient." In reality, although this patient is seen as a "model" patient, he still must cope with several, important life issues. (I know because I’m a PHFBP and have been one for several years.)
The issues are as follows:
1. Do I really need to take my meds?
Medication is a sticky subject. It’s usually visible, either sitting out or in a cabinet, just sitting there for any nosey guest to come along and read the bottle. Medication also can put on the pounds, like around 50. It’s a hassle to take it every day. A nuisance. Life would be much easier without it. Wouldn’t it?
2. Should I "come out" in my family, the neighborhood or at work?
I really want to tell people, but I’m afraid of the after effects. Will they lose trust in me? I feel like an imposter, like I can’t truly be myself. Who am I, really?
3. Can I take (normal and not-so-normal) risks?
I know that if I go to New York City, it might set me off. But I love New York City. There’s no other city like it. Should I go?
4. How do I cope if I start to get ill?
Who will watch my child? Can I work if I’m delusional? I’m in remission now, but there’s no cure to this thing. What will happen if I get sick?
5. Should I marry?
Who would want to marry me? How can I trust a total stranger?
6. Should I have/raise children?
Will I pass the illness to my child? Will children be too much stress? Will anyone let me adopt?
7. How much responsibility can I handle at work?
I love what I’m doing, but I feel like I’m on a tightrope, like I might fall off at any minute. Should I ask for a promotion or stay where I am? Will more work make me sick?
8. How does my illness relate to my spirituality?
I once thought I was Jesus. Does this make me closer or farther from God? If I can’t get out of bed to go to church, will I be pardoned?
9. Will I become seriously ill again?
I can’t go back in the hospital. Someone will find out. I hate how in the hospital you can’t lock your door. Will I survive another hospitalization?
10. Should I be proud of myself?
Does my sickness make me stronger than the average person? If I show the world how well I am, will the sickness come back and bite me in the butt?
Yes, I know what you’re saying. "Life isn’t perfect." This is true. And this is my message for today.
Life isn’t perfect.
You can be a model patient, but you can still live precariously amidst numerous difficult issues.
All we can do is our best with what we are given.
I'm a PHFBP.
Are you?
Add a Comment56 Comments
I'm so glad to have found this post and all the replies. Any update on this forum that David Mariant was creating? I would love to participate.
January 7, 2010 - 11:06amThis Comment
cmon now, dude finally puts up a forum for us and you guys kick it right away?
December 26, 2009 - 7:36pmThis Comment
Glad you are interested in David's forum! Last time we spoke with David, he was in the process of posting the forum information to his profile, and updating the EmpowHER site with additional resources. Thanks, and check back soon!
December 27, 2009 - 7:30amThis Comment
Hi,
This is David. My Forum for Higher Functioning bipolar living is online...
Enjoy,
David Mariant
(personal information removed by Moderator, per EmpowHER posting guidelines)
December 20, 2009 - 1:58amThis Comment
David,
Thank you for your interest in helping others through the EmpowHER site. If you are interested in creating a forum on the EmpowHER site, and/or learning the appropriate avenues to post outside resource links to personal sites, please contact me through private message (click on my name above), as we would love to guide you through the process!
Alison Beaver
December 20, 2009 - 7:05pmEmpowHER Guide
This Comment
so has anyone even discussed high functioning bipolar support groups? thats what i'm really after. i dont want to feel like a freak, but i've felt more out of my element these past couple weeks than normal, and i want to reach out to those similar to me, but all the regular hospital groups have people who have destroyed their lives...
December 13, 2009 - 5:59pmThis Comment
No support forum as of yet. I've had this conversation with David the Bipolar coach, and I think there needs to be one...we need a forum. I've started to look at setting up a forum and what the best way to handle that but it's a something that is definitely missing.
David Thurman
PS, i'm the one that wrote our brains are like F22's that's a good and a bad, depending on a number of conditions.
(Personal email removed per EmpowHER posting guidelines)
December 14, 2009 - 12:32amThis Comment
I have a forum ready to go... I just have not flipped the switch. I will likely turn it on this week. I am glad to learn their is interest.
Warm regards,
December 14, 2009 - 2:58amDavid Mariant
This Comment
I'd like to submit my support for such a forum -- and I'll be checking back here for a link.
December 16, 2009 - 1:36amThis Comment
Perfect, I have a few people that I'll link up to it as soon as your online with it. I"m encouraged that there other people feeling the same way, I think a dialog individuals who are functioning, have managed with little or no medications and the information that is available from all of us is a collective body of information as well as a nice support group that's needed. Hurry Up David!!!:D.
December 14, 2009 - 8:53amD.T.
This Comment